What the Elf?
Posted by Joan Kayse Dec 24 2012, 12:36 am
Picture this: Sicily….
Er, that’s The Golden Girls. Scratch that….
Picture this: The Lair, Christmas Eve 2012. Garland hangs from the chandeliers, massive bunches of mistletoe hover over every conceivable doorway or route taken by the cabana boys. Trees of every shape and size, decorations and tinsel are tucked into niches and beside the multiple fireplaces. The smell of gingerbread wafts through the air from the direction of the 24/7 kitchen. Outside, flights of delivery reindeer launch from the rooftops click, click, click with old St. Nick. The secret is out….The Lair is Christmas central for the jolly old elf! Let’s take a peek:
Rockin‘ Around the Christmas Tree….
“Aghhhh! It’s just not adding up!”
“What’s the prob, Penny Icing?”
Penny Icing, Bandit Donna’s personal elf, snaps her head up from the calculator in front of her. “There aren’t enough!”
Craisin, Caren’s own sidekick hits the iPod Grandma got run over by a reindeer. “Enough what?”
Penny keeps time with her foot. “Presents.”
“What do ya mean?” Tricksie Treeleaf looks around the Lair, stacked from floor to ceiling with packages of every size and shape, paper and bows, stockings and exhausted cabana boys rocking those UPS uniforms, “We’ve got plenty. My own Nancy made sure of it.”
Penny’s expression sobers. “Not for the Bandits.”
“Wha…wha…wha..do you mean?” Craisin’s voice is tinged with hysteria. “There HAVE to be! Each Bandit’s personal elf is here! In charge of their gifts!”
“I’ve got my Bandit covered,” pipes up Jo Jo Kittel. “Joanie T’s Christmas even came a bit early. Release of her first independent historical romance THE PATRICIAN. Lots of lovin’ for it too and she’s working hard to get the second one out.” Jo Jo sniffs, “When the big guy delivers all those Kindles and Nooks tonight, there will be compulsion magic in each one to download it. I take care of my girl.”
“Well I do too,” Dingy Angel-Pants adds, “Christie’s BEWITCHING THE DUKE has been getting rave reviews and Anna’s Fo Fo Bo Bo gave her Bandit a boost with THE WINTER WIFE. Great Christmas novella. #10 on the Kindle lists.”
“Caren’s got a new tree topper.” Craisin tucks a stray orange curl behind her ear. “She’s got her younglings taken care of and we’re firing up for some fantastic writing. It’s all here…in this box of Godiva.”
“What’s going on?” Kate’s Twinkie BigBottom skips into the fray carrying a tray of her namesake cakes. Emergarde inches closer. Twinks eyes narrow. “Back off lizard, these are worth $200,000 on the black market.”
“Penny says there aren’t enough Bandit presents.”
“Well that’s just silly.” Suz’s pal Hottie Chockie pipes. “Have you seen the Bailey’s?” With a wary eye, Craisin hands Hottie the 2 galleon bottle. “Kate’s going gangbusters with her Bibilophile series and my Suzie….man, she took epub by storm with KIDNAPPED, HUNTED and now CLOSE TO HOME. My girl has lots under her hic tree this year.”
Penny kicks the iPod sending TransSiberia Orchestra bouncing off the walls. “I’m telling you we’re short some presents.”
“It’s not presents you’re short of, mortals.”
As one, the elves look up into the rafters.
“Hmmm,” murmurs Jo Jo Kittel, “Sangria really rocks that fur lined, tinseled look. “
The Goddess preens. “A situation easily remedied. There are 17 of those rowdy Bandits, are there not? Demetrius…” Sangria gestures to a disgruntled gladiator decked out in icicle lights. “there are enough fairies.”
Craisin rolls her eyes “Elves.”
“Ok, ok…fairies. Sheesh.”
Penny’s mouth forms a perfect O as she turns to look at the BB’s “She’s right. We DO have help. What about it BB’s? Can you help us gather the gifts for the Bandits? It’s Christmas Eve and we have 24 hours. Tell us what you would get for each Bandit and if their elf was not mentioned, what would their name be?
One lucky visitor will receive a rooster coffee mug/ saucer and 1/2 lb of Starbuck’s coffee just for helping Santa’s elves!
Dig your way out of the wrapping paper tomorrow for a HUGE Christmas Day blow out! THE Christmas giveaway will put a crick in Santa’s bag!