Tis the Season for…..Sayings?

best_friends_card-r65e9e45a168a461889778a2be37ebf3a_xvuak_8byvr_325Y’know, I was reading Caren’s post from the other day and laughing to myself about the Acorn Catalog. (www.AcornOnline.com)  I LOVE catalogs and delight in dreaming over the delicious furnishings and food and cool clothes.  I often see things and think, “Oh, my friend so-and-so would LOVE That!!”  When I win the lottery, I swear, I’m going to ACT on all those impulses!  Snork!  People will be sick of getting weird stuff in the mail from me that reminds me of them.  Hahah!

Of course, I also spend time laughing my bahootie off at all the great t-shirts with fabulous sayings, like the one Caren mentioned in her post. 

“Silently Correcting Your Grammar!”  Grins. 

I then realized that this year, there are MORE of the pithy or wise sayings showing up in the catalogs – pillows, wall art, and the inevitable tee shirts.  And in this season of giving, what better thing to give a writer than a shirt or pillow with….you guessed it….HP2201

MORE WORDS!!  Grins.

Of course, there are seasonal greetings like “Give Thanks” or “BOOO!” or one of my personal favs from the latest Pottery Barn Catalog “Its The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”  Grins.  LOVE that.  Of course, like the fabulous and famous Staples Commercial, I start singing that one in August, when the kids go back to school and I get a schedule again!  Hahahah!! ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DComGO8JYo)

But I started laughing over and thinking about what kind of shirt-with-a-saying would I get for my Bandita Sisters?  It didn’t take long to realize I could think of a saying for pretty much EVERY Bandita. 

For instance, in the Signals Catalog, (http://www.signals.com/) there’s a shirt I need to get for Anna Campbell.  It says:

7 Days Without a Pun Makes One Weak. 

haiku(Or, as an alternative….

“I feel Pithy, Oh, so Pithy!)


For Caren, who actually will be seen with me in public, the one above, about Best Friends, works well, or perhaps, since she is the Mistress of Haiku, she should have this one to the left.

If I were to get one for Bandita Nancy, it would be one with a photo of her favorite Stargate character, Teal’c and his favorite saying, “Indeed.”

Or for Jo and Nancy, who love to really DIG into history…. 

“History Buff: I’d Find You More Interesting if You Were Dead” 

Or even better, for Nancy, aHN5791

“Richard the Third – He put the KING in ParKING!”

(Or the one about him being a Hide and Seek Champion….)  *Ducks flying fruit*

And if y’all didn’t see Trish’s fabulous posts on her Facebook Page back in August with #30DaysofGeekGirlTees about her many amazing DragonCon and geek-girl shirts, you should go over there right now and check them out.  They are hysterical!! 

(I’d obviously have to get Trish a Supernatural tee, or something deliciously geeky which could appear in next year’s round up!  Maybe something from Firefly or The Walking Dead…)

I’d have to buy some for me, of course.  I couldn’t resist.  Having the macabre sense of humor that I do, a good one might be:

“Let’s Eat Grandma.  Let’s Eat, Grandma. – Commas Save Lives.” 

Grins.  Oh, what a different experience the lowly comma can provide! 

HN5801Or for both Cassondra and for me, the one with a leg bone and the saying, “I Find This Humerus”  Snork.  

Then there were the LIFE IS GOOD Halloween shirts… ) a witch hat with “Be Witching”  Or a picture of a zombie and the saying, “You Only Live Twice.”  Or the other zombie shirt, “I Like You For Your Brains.”

I’d probably also have to go for: “Being a Good Writer is 5% Talent and 95% Not Being Distracted by the Internet.”

For Jo, Anna S, Nancy, and Donna and all the Banditas who are English Majors, teachers/former Teachers, and/or Grammar Police, I’d have to get:

“The Past, The Present and the Future Walked into a bar…It was Tense…” 

Or “I Before E…Except when Eight Feisty Neighbors Seize a Surfeit of Weighty Heifers”  Snork!! 

Or even better, for all the Bandits…. “Keep Clam and Proofread!” 

Or maybe,choked-on-the-irony-funny-picture-2523

“There.  Their.  They’re NOT the same!”

Since all of us are book lovers, I could fall back on the perennial favorite,

“Next to a dog, a book is man’s best friend.  Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.” 

Or the always popular: “So Many Books, So Little Time.”

For Kate, I was laughing over wine shirts – In Vino, Veritas! –  but decided since her Brooklyn Wainwright is always caught up with the irony of the situation, I would have to get at least two shirts going for that…. 

One, which features a photo of an enormous grizzly bear and says:

“I Ate a Guy Wearing a PETA Shirt Yesterday, and Nearly Choked on the Irony.” 

I know, I know, it’s verging on politically incorrect, but it reminded me of the irreverence of Brooklyn’s family.  Grins. 

Or another one, which I might have to get for both Kate and Susan because they always crack me up, which says:

HN9931“Irony.  The Opposite of Wrinkly.” 

For my Evil Twin Cassondra, and for myself, I should probably order

“I Drink Coffee for YOUR Protection…”

For Cassondra, I’d probably also have to order a shirt that says something hysterically funny and relatively inappropriate about secret squirrel organizations, or perhaps C4.  SNORK!!

For the Golden Rooster, I REALLY have to get the t-shirt that says:

“I dream of a society where a Chicken can cross the road without its motives being questioned” 

Frankly, for OUR bird, I question anything he gets up to, including his motives for crossing ANYTHING!  Ha!! 

For the somewhat hapless Paolo, I might have to get

“If you Can’t Stand the Heat, Don’t Tickle the Dragon!”img25r

Or “Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons…For You are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup”

For Suz, given her murderous proclivities, and medical knowledge, I would have to get a shirt written in Latin:

“Quondo Omni Flunkus Mortati!” (When All Else Fails, Play Dead!) 

if_the_shoes_fit_funny_halloween_long_sleeve_t_tshirt-ra49d91d0c36a49abba9c14ebefe01f56_8n2j7_324(She’d probably have to get an equally inappropriate but hysterically fun secret squirrel organization shirt, or something about labor and delivery and the general naughtiness preceding it!)

For Tawny and Anna S, I saw a shirt that said

“A New Pair of Shoes Can Change Your Life – Cinderella” 

That one would be a must-buy.  Grins.  Again, here, there were SO Many choices…Johnny Depp, Shoes, Hockey….yeah, I could send these two Bandita’s a box of shirts a month and not run out of funny things to send them…

I know Donna already has the “Be Careful, Or You’ll End Up in my Novel” shirt, but I saw one that made me LOL and think of her:doc in chg

“Everyone Remain Calm, I’m an Accountant.”  And there was this one with a peacock, but the saying on it was NOT g-rated.  SNORK. 

For Joan, who is as you know loves her kittehs, but is also a nurse, there were so many choices!  OMGosh….

“Do you want to talk to the Doctor in charge, or the Nurse who knows what’s going on?”  SNORK!!  Since I also have a sister who’s a nurse,  and our Bandita Suz is a nurse, I love that one.

Joan would also have to get a fabulous shirt about Sacking Rome as well as something about the cats….  I could do the funny-cat-shirt for Joan, Christie, il_570xN_483204511_d3h1Caren, Cassondra, and Donna.  Grins.  (So many funny cat shirts, so little space on the blog…)

For Christie, Christina,  and our other historical authors, I think I’d get

“Sorry Mr. Grey, I’m Sticking With Mr. Darcy” 

(Take THAT, Christian Grey!)  Christie would have this one I saw about Lord Baltimore too.  Grins.  And I saw so many about handbags, Christina, which would suit us both that I just ran out of time!  Bwahahahah!  (Christina,  it’s an addiction, I tell you!)  Oh, and Christina, there were two about being the mother of all boys (MOABs) which were beyond funny.

For Susan, whose wit is sharp as a rapier, I think I’d have to go for the Downton Abbey shirt, “Vulgarity is No Substitute for Wit.”   Or this one:

“A GOOD friend will bail you out of jail.  Your BEST friend will be sitting next to you saying, “DAMN, that was fun!””  Grins.alot_t_shirt_2-r4fc442b5c51b46c3b54beb610ab43a48_804gy_324

And, given that it’s the holidays, I think I’d have to get everyone one of my Bandita Sisters some Holiday pillows or shirts, like

“Define Naughty…”

And “Santa, I’ve been good! Really, Really Good!”  Grins.  (Take that however you’d like…)

So what are some of your favorites? 

Do you have a favorite shirt-with-a-saying that you wear? 

Is there one you’ve seen and laughed over?

 Do you watch Downton Abbey?  Would you wear a shirt saying “Do as the Dowager Countess Says”?  Grins

What about other shows?  Do you have a shirt or sweatshirt from Star Trek, Star Wars, True Blood or other popular shows or movies?

beakerWhat T-Shirt would you get for the Golden Rooster?  For other various Lair inhabitants? For Yourself?

(The I Care About this Alot is from www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/store  and is fab!  ALL Allie’s stuff is great! Also check out http://www.caravanshoppe.com/product-category/wall-art/ for some great wall art with words, and other items!(http://www.lifeisgood.com/clearance/women/ )

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  • Helen says:

    Is he coming to my place?

    Have Fun

  • Helen says:


    What fabulous sayings I am laughing so much I have seen a lot that have made me laugh but I have a dreadful memory and can never remember after the T-Shirst has walked past LOL. I am going to have to try and remember some of look some up :).

    It is so hot over here today I am sure the GR will be staying indoors becasue we have the air con on and there are some fires around again and it is smokey outside

    Have Fun

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Heehee! Helen, I know JUST what you mean. I know I saw one the other day that made me laugh right out loud, but can’t remember it to save my life. Grins.

      As for the smoke and the cool – trust the hedonistic bird to stay in the air con and away from the smoke. He’s such a couch potato! We need P226 to whip him into shape again!

    • Jo Robertson says:

      So sorry for your hot downunder weather, Helen. Here in northern Cal it’s a brisk, cold fall day which I’m enjoying very much. Soon we’ll be able to light a fire in the fireplace!

  • Jane says:

    Hello Jeanne,
    I get the Acorn emails, too. Some of the stuff they have are quite pricey. I see a lot of I’m With Stupid t-shirts and they don’t seem as funny anymore. I have an old Buffy shirt. I would love a Game of Thrones t-shirt.

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Hey Jane! Yes the “I’m with Stupid” has gone way past “old” and onto irritating. Snork. As has “I see stupid people” (making fun of the Sixth Sense).

      As to Game of Thrones, you should see Trish’s shirt! It’s on her FB page and in her photo feed where she was doing the 30 geek girl tshirts. It’s very cool and I want it too. Grins.

      She’s got a Buffy shirt as well. Something about nice girls and cemeteries. Grins. Is yours a picture or a saying?

    • Jo Robertson says:

      Oh, yes, a GOT tee shirt would be lovely, Jane. I’d like Peter Dinklage as he’s my favorite character.

  • flchen1 says:

    LOL!!!! LOVE these ideas for the Banditas, Jeanne! I think I’d like a grammar-police type shirt for the editor in me 😉 My t-shirt collection is mostly plain, with a sprinkling of techie ones or ones advertising various tech start-ups that DH has brought home… I don’t watch much TV, so probably wouldn’t go with a TV show shirt, although I did watch a ton of Star Trek back in the day… 😉

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Hey Fedora! Ha! Had to LOL because I have a ton of t-shirts from my DH’s work. His company is always issuing t-shirts for some morale day and they end up in the general basket. Of course they tend to print them up in construction-cone-orange – their color – which looks hideous on me. Hahaha! You can find them in the dark, they’re that vivid.

      You definately need a Star Trek one. Grins. Trouble with Tribbles, maybe?

  • Jeanne, I WANT that pun T-shirt! I year-n for it! I hope you win the lottery – I think your presents would be a lot of fun. I love buying people great presents! Loved the PETA one in peta-cular!

  • Minna says:

    Ha ha! I just love “Keep Clam and Proofread!”
    I just read this cute story about a guy who saved an owl from dying of hypothermia in the lake (I didn’t know owls can swim!), but it was obvious no one had bothered to proofread the story!

    Unfortunately, it’s in Finnish, but check out the pictures. Owls can obviously swim when their life depends on it:
    http:// www. iltalehti.fi/ uutiset/2013110617692857_uu.shtml?utm_campaign=uutisboksi&utm_source=telkku

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Wow! Weird! I so didn’t know that either. Does it say what kind of owl it is? Since it’s – har, har – all wet, I can’t tell. Grins.

      And I laughed and laughed at Keep Clam and Proofread. Partly because the first time I read it, my brain automatically corrected the Clam, and I was thinking….why is tht funny? Snork.

      There was alsoa Keep Calm for Tawny and Anna. It said Keep Calm and Buy Shoes.

  • Minna says:

    Oh, I did find the story in English:
    http://www. dailymail.co.uk/ news/article-2488891/Im-worn-hoot-Tired-freezing-owl-rescued-ice-cold-lake-canoeist.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490

    That tells only part of the entire story, though.

  • Shannon says:

    I love this collection… particularly the grammar T-shirts.

    I have two beloved old t-shirts: “Beam Me Up Scottie” and the one from when Syracuse won the NCAA. The latter isn’t silly, but when you own only six t-shirts and four of those are sparkly flowers or motifs, the outlier deserves an honorable mention.

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      I adore Beam Me Up, Scotty! Grins. And I’d wear the new Scotty proudly too, and I’m sure they’ve already started shirts for him. Grins.

      Had to LOL about the “Cuse shirt. Yes, the outlier DOES deserve mention! (I’m a household of sport-mad men, so I have LOTS of t-shirts like this!)

      Which is your fav of the grammar ones?

      • Shannon says:

        It is “The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar…it was tense. ”

        I wonder if there’s one about the “Oxford Comma.” I recently heard a speaker who proclaimed her undying love for and devotion to the Oxford comma as in “as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be..” or “Tom, Dick, and Harry”.

        • Jeanne Adams says:

          If there’s not a shirt, there should be! I’m a fan of the Oxford Comma, much to the disgust of my editors. Grins.

        • Kat Sheridan says:

          There’s one that says “You can pry my serial comma from my cold, dead, and ink-stained hands”. There’s another that shows two men and two strippers on the top line and says “With the Oxford comma: We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin”. On the second line are pictures of Kennedy and Stalin dressed as strippers and it says “Without the Oxford comma: We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin”.

          I want them both!

  • Connie Fischer says:

    I got a great catalog the other day with lots of funny t-shirts. The one I liked best goes like this:

    I laughed so hard tears ran down my legs

    Loved it!

  • Jo Robertson says:

    Hilarious post, Jeanne! Thanks for the morning pick-me-up. How well you know all our Bandita Sisters.

    I have a saying on my wall that I really enjoy, but I don’t know where it came from:

    “Better to be a happy idiot than to know the truth.”

    I like it because it applies to people who don’t believe in UFOs to religious nuts to learning the naughty deeds your kids did.

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      SNORK! Yeah, Jo, sometimes it’s SO much better not to know. Hahaha! Had to LOL about the “things your kids did” bit. My Dad’s hair was already pretty white, but not long after my Mom died, I swear the four of us turned it even whiter when we began to tell stories on one another in his presence. I think we really scared him. Grins. WE kept reminding him that – obviously – we’d all survived….

  • Anna Sugden says:

    ROFL Fabulous post, Jeanne! So enjoyed the t-shirts with their sayings. I could so see all the ones you picked.

    A lot of my favourite t-shirts with sayings are sports shirts. 🙂 My all-time favourite has Jesus in a goalie mask on the front that says ‘Jesus saves’ and on the back it says ‘Parise scores on the rebound’. That was before my boy left for Minnesota, but I still love the shirt.

    I also have one from Kansas City that is a letter to Dorothy from Toto:
    Dear Dorothy,
    Hate Oz. Took the shoes. Find your own way home.
    Love Toto

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Heehee! Anna, I knew you’d already have a good Hockey one! Grins. ANd I ADORE the Dorothy/Toto one. Grins.

      There’s a sport one I love since my DH played rugby:

      Give Blood. Play Rugby.


  • pjpuppymom says:

    What a great post, Jeanne! I love it!

    Not all that long ago, I had oodles of tee shirts (a career in banking = enough tees to open your own store) but I donated most of them before I moved. The ones I kept are mostly sports or romance related.

    Love the grammar related shirts! The PETA bear is pretty awesome too. I have a 15 yr old who needs that “What has been seen cannot be unseen” shirt. We saw something on the beach in Hawaii earlier this year that she swears is burned (not happily) into her brain for eternity. 😉

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Hey PJ! See? Some of those corporate t-shirt deals… like I said, the DH’s company’s tees are all flourescent orange. EEEK!!

      Had to LOL about the “Unseen” in Hawaii. OMGosh some of the posted pics with that phrase were things I wish I could unsee! Double EEEK!! Grins.

      I’ve done the weed-out on the corporate tees recently as well. Some of those just HAVE to move on…

  • What a great post, Duchesse! I LOVE t-shirts like this!

    I have one with an eighteenth century engraving of an opera performance. Beneath it it says :

    All theatre is an insane asylum. Opera theatre is the ward for the incurables!

    Another favorite of mine is :

    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt!

    I have quite a collection of writer t-shirts.

    Rejection builds character.

    Write. Edit. Revise. Repeat.

    I’m a Writer. I know 17 ways to kill you and make it look like an accident.

  • Pat Cochran says:

    I’m a SPORTS FAN(ATIC), so my tees range from UH’s
    Phi Slamma Jamma basketball to Houston Oilers football
    jerseys to the Astros baseball to the Texans jerseys. I
    also have Eisenhower HS band and Project Prom tees
    from my volunteer years.

    As for the Golden One, I’d have matching tees made up
    for us. Mine would say: “Cock-A-Doodle-Who?” His tee
    would say: “WHO!”

    Pat C.

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      SNORK!!! Oh, Pat that is FANTASTIC!!! I love it!!! Who!! would suit him right down to the ground. Grins. He thinks he’s the BIG WHO.

      And I’m with you on the Sports Fanatic. You, me, Suz, Donna….yeah, we’re there. Wavin’

  • Well, you know I love a good T-shirt. I saw another great geek tee this week — it was a mock Mt. Rushmore called Mt. Awesome, and instead of the presidents it had Captain Kirk (Star Trek), Captain Mal (Firefly), Admiral Adama (Battlestar Galactica) and Han Solo (Star Trek). I barely restrained myself from buying it.

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Oh how COOL! Trish, I SO would have baught that!!! Grins. Love Mt. Awesome. Grins.

      ANd I adored your 30 Days collection, as I’m sure you noticed. Grins.

  • Jeanne – What a fantastic blog! I laughed and laughed. Thank you for that.

  • LOL Jeanne, as soon as I saw the one about puns I knew who that was for. Too cool!

    And do you know, I momentarily blanked on who Mr. Grey was when you said that slogan about Mr. Darcy, so I definitely would wear that t-shirt.

    As for being mother of boys, we now have chicken pox. Oy! Thought we’d vaccinated against that but only the little one, not the big one. And I haven’t had it yet. Eek! I feel itchy, oh so itchy…

    Are there any slogans about 5 weeks of sickness hell? Because I’d wear that one at the moment.

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Holy Cannolis! Chicken pox TOO? OMGosh, you’ve been visited by the plagues this summer, girl! YIKES!!!

      Snorking that you knew immediately who the pun was for. Bwahahahah!! Figured virtually everyone would know that one. Ha!

  • Joan Kayse says:

    Sorry to be late to the fashion show. OMG! I’d rock that Tshirt!

    Why am I late? I volunteered at the Humane Society giving Kitty Comfort…..

    That’s all I’m going to say about that :0

    • Jeanne Adams says:

      Bwahahah! It’s the Wonderful Cat Lady and giver of Cat Comfort.

      (I so could not do that. I’d be the seriously Crazy Cat Lady and Dog Lady, I’d be bringing them ALL home. Sigh)

      And yes, you would totally ROCK it.

  • My friend Helen recommended this blog and I have to say I’m glad she did. What a great post. I love those sayings. I think the “I drink coffee…” one is a must! So is the “keep clam…” Thanks for the laugh 🙂