The Happiness Project

Posted by Jan 23 2012, 11:54 pm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by KJ Howe

While I was in Austria and England over the holidays, I wanted to read something that would both entertain and enlighten me.  Happiness is a topic that has fascinated me for years.  The study of positive psychology is relatively new, but it’s important.  So many people struggle to enjoy life, a dark cloud over their heads.  But what could be more important than the quest for the holy grail–happiness, something so elusive and desirable.  I needed to learn more.

I started my research with a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  Gretchen takes her readers on a wonderful year-long quest for happiness, focusing on a different topic every month (eg. marriage, exercise, spirituality).  Her self-deprecating humor makes taking the journey enjoyable, as I certainly empathized when she faced her “unhappy demons” who tried to kibosh her project.  Gretchen shares her 12 Personal Commandments, the first of which is “Be Gretchen”.  This may seem like common sense, but how many of us spend so much time trying to please others that we forget who we are and what we need to be happy?  She also shares Four Splendid Truths, one of which is One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.  

Gretchen has done extensive research for her book, so she offers a Coles Notes version of how we can find happiness.  She also busts happiness myths, tracking down proof about what truly makes us happy.

She also has a blog at http://www.happiness-project.com/ and you can even join the 2012 Happiness Challenge if you are on a quest for more happiness in your life.

What I’d like to hear is what makes you happiest.  If you could make one change in your life, what would it be?  Thanks for joining us today.  You being here made me happy!

 

 

37 Comments

Comments

37 thoughts on “The Happiness Project”

  1. 1
    Kaelee says:
    January 24, 2012 at 12:07 am

    That sounds like a great book. I love going for walks or drives with my husband. I need to get myself motivated to do more things. I like Gretchen round in a circle thinking because it’s so true. What goes around comes around especially happiness.

  2. 2
    Mozette says:
    January 24, 2012 at 12:57 am

    Years ago, I thought I was happy. However, I wasn’t. It was the illusion of being happy that I had… strange but true… and a lot of people have this illusion that they’re happy and they’re not.

    So, once I told Mum over the phone and burst into tears wondering where my Happy went to, I made it my mission to find my Happy (this is going to be a very strange comment, but bear with me). It took over 5 long years to find Happy… it was hiding itself very well inside me somewhere, where I couldn’t tell you. But it was there.
    All I had to do was take a step back and find out what exactly made me Happy in the first place. You wouldn’t believe what it was! It wasn’t money. It wasn’t a man (strangely enough)! It was the small things… a good book, a cuddle from my budgie, a wicked song I know all the words to on the radio or on cd. Or find a vinyl or a book I’ve been looking for for years… small stuff. And the tiny stuff is even more fun… like a Gloxinia in bloom, my plants all coming into flower at the same time, eating a meal that I’ve made that’s worked perfectly… reading a great book I don’t want to end… small stuff and tiny stuff.

    Strange what it took for my Happy to come back. Now, I’ve stopped looking for that perfect man, you wouldn’t believe it… the right man has walked into my life. He’s sweet, tall, can see who I am (instead of trying to change me into his Mum) and can make me laugh (and I can make him laugh too). We get each other on a high spiritual plain; like nobody has ever gotten me… it’s amazing. I want him in my life badly – and he knows it – but he’s scared of being with me… now, isn’t that the perfect premise for a perfect romance? And I’m living it! :D
    I’m Happy now… right now… it’s an amazing feeling to find my Happy around this time; brilliant, as it’s my time to shine and I know it. And it’s fantastic when you know it’s your time to step up, be happy and see the world for what it is.

    • 2.1
      Anna Sugden says:
      January 24, 2012 at 6:24 am

      Oh Mozette – your post touched a chord in me! I’m so glad you’re happy now!

      I went though something similar years ago, in my first marriage. Some hard choices had to be made, but once I made them, I found my happy again. And my perfect man! *g*.

      Sometimes, it’s cutting toxic things or people out of your life. Sometimes it’s finding those small things that make a true difference to YOU. I’m glad you found what you had to do to make you happy. Long may it continue!

      • 2.1.1
        Mozette says:
        January 24, 2012 at 7:49 am

        You know, when you have to find your Happy, you have to be that little bit selfish and start thinking about only yourself for a little while… because if you don’t, you’ll never be able to move on from what’s really holding you back. And what it is usually is fear… the fear of knowing who you are deep down, love, accepting it and giving it.

        When I took a good look at myself, years back, I realised I wasn’t a very nice person to live with; and I tell ya this now, that’s not a good thing for somebody who lives alone to know. So, once I began giving of myself more, walking into charity shops and giving away things I didn’t need to others who did, I found it made me feel better within myself.
        Then, I began searching for things that made me happy… and as you’ve read above, it didn’t take me very long to find that. :D

        • 2.1.1.1
          KJ Howe says:
          January 24, 2012 at 7:58 am

          Mozette, you have been on a beautiful journey. I really respect how you’re approaching life. Making other people happy does make us happy!

    • 2.2
      KJ Howe says:
      January 24, 2012 at 7:56 am

      Mozette, thank you for the touching post. You are SO right about it being the small things that make people happy. I hope things work out with your Prince Charming!!!

  3. 3
    Anna Campbell says:
    January 24, 2012 at 1:58 am

    Ooh, KJ, what an interesting question. Happy can mean so many things, can’t it? People I love make me happy (well, sometimes they make me sad, but that’s the rich tapestry of life, isn’t it?). Music and wonderful books to read make me happy. Beautiful things make me happy. Wonderful landscapes make me happy and I love to travel and see new places and people. So I’m never really short of something that’s going to cheer me up. Actually on a hot day, a SWIM makes me happy! I’d say I’m shallow but you’d claim I’m just making a terrible pun again ;-)

    • 3.1
      KJ Howe says:
      January 24, 2012 at 7:59 am

      Anna C, you hit the nail on the head. It isn’t really things, but experiences. And, I’ll join you for that swim!!!! My favourite thing in the world is being in an ocean on a hot day. Sigh. That’s why I live in Canada, right? LOL

  4. 4
    Mary Preston says:
    January 24, 2012 at 3:20 am

    Can I go back in time in this scenario? I would change one thing, that’s all, but it would make me very happy to do so. My secret!!

  5. 5
    Helen says:
    January 24, 2012 at 3:36 am

    KJ

    Happiness is such a wonderful feeling and I have to say that I have such a great family and wonderful friends that make me happy and I kinda strive to make them happy as well although the old saying you can never make everyone happy is so true. I have to say that my grandkids are the best for me and sitting down to read a great book happy times

    Have Fun
    Helen

  6. 6
    Anna Sugden says:
    January 24, 2012 at 6:20 am

    What a lovely post, KJ! Seeing you in London made me very happy!

    My lovely hubby is a great believer in finding something in every day that made you happy. As a naturally ‘glass half empty’ person, or so I thought, trying to do this has really helped me see that there is so much that makes me happy! Actually, I’m pretty easily pleased LOL.

    My hubby, my sis and her family, my hubby’s kids and their partners, my wonderful friends, my cats all make me happy. My team winning, anything to do with penguins, favourite movies, great books, good food do too. *g*

    Someone being thoughtful brings me great joy. As does making those I love happy.

    What would make me happy now? Do you even have to ask? That elusive sale! For you and for me!

    • 6.1
      KJ Howe says:
      January 24, 2012 at 8:03 am

      Anna S, I think of you often and love that we had a chance to see each other in London. I knew that HOCKEY would feature in your happiness. LOL Keith definitely has a positive attitude and I really respect that…and you guys make a special couple. I’m thrilled you found happiness in love. And, yes, the book deal would be just fine!

  7. 7
    Beth Andrews says:
    January 24, 2012 at 8:02 am

    Thanks for the great post, KJ. I’ve been wanting to read this book and now seems like a great time.

    I do find happiness in each day and try to teach my children to do the same :-)

    • 7.1
      KJ Howe says:
      January 24, 2012 at 8:04 am

      Beth, what i love about the book is that everyone would take something different from it. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and it’s great when Gretchen helps us discover our own path to happiness. Happy reading! :)

  8. 8
    Gail Nichols says:
    January 24, 2012 at 8:11 am

    What makes me happiest is a good book and down time to read it. A day without dishes or cooking or teenagers who can’t seem to do the simplist thing for themselves:)For me a good book and a soda makes me happy

  9. 9
    Gretchen Rubin says:
    January 24, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Thanks KJ for your kind words! I’m thrilled to hear that my work resonates with you. Have a very HAPPY 2012!

  10. 10
    Donna MacMeans says:
    January 24, 2012 at 11:37 am

    KJ – What a fun post. Gretchen – I’ll have to find your book.

    I’m a pretty happy person for the most part, but stress of meeting other’s expectations chip away at it. Deadlines take big gouges out of it. But it appreciate the reminder that it’s the little things, time spent with family, traveling with my husband – the things I’ll remember when I can’t do it anymore – those are the things to cherish now when I can.

    • 10.1
      KJ Howe says:
      January 24, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      Hi Donna, you made several good points…I think many women feel pressured to meet everyone else’s needs. Sometimes, it’s good to take a day off. :)

  11. 11
    Nancy Northcott says:
    January 24, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    Hi, KJ–What an interesting topic! I’m happy when I’ve done something that made a positive difference, however small, for someone else. I’m happy when something I’ve worked hard on comes to fruition.

    If I could make one change in my life, I’d be a published author, of course! *g* We just have to keep plugging at that one.

    • 11.1
      KJ Howe says:
      January 24, 2012 at 8:08 pm

      Nancy, I know you’ll reach that dream. You’re doing everything right–working hard, studying the craft, and persevering…it’ll all pay off, and I’m hoping this is your year.

  12. 12
    Deb says:
    January 24, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    I think things that make me happy can be a different thing on different days or even different times in our lives. As of right now, because my parents are getting older and aren’t in the best of health, I am happiest when I can sit and visit with them for an afternoon. I live an hour away and don’t see them as frequently as I’d like, but will actually be going out to see them this weekend.

    Thanks for the post today, KJ.

  13. 13
    Louisa says:
    January 24, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    Kaelee, I hope the GR manages to make you happy – even if it is just when he leaves!

    What a great post, KJ. And what a neat idea for a book. There is absolutely nothing wrong with anything someone writes to help another person find happiness!

    Believe it or not, I am happy when I am writing. I often say my worst day writing is better than my best day at work. My dogs and cats make me happy. Even better, they seem to know when I am sad and make an extra effort to cheer me up. The one thing they have taught me is it is okay to be exuberant in all things – in love, in joy, in play, in happiness, in SLEEP and even in eating.

    Visiting the Bandits and the Buddies makes me happy. Talking to my friends. Getting a text from my niece or nephews, who think it is cool that their technologically challenged aunt finally learned how to text. The way they all look our for my Mom makes me very happy. They call her. They go by the house. They spend the night at her house or go to the movies with her. They are all young adults (15, 17 and soon to be 21) yet they LOVE to spend time with Nana (who is 76.) It makes me happy because it makes her happy.

    It has taken me a long time to get comfortable in my own skin and I still fall back on “what if’s” and “maybe I should’s” at times. But, for the most part, what makes me happy is that I have survived and I am who I am – not at all a conformist or what your average 50 something year old woman “should” be, but when I get down on myself, I remember how far I have come and the things I have accomplished and I realize I’ve worked hard and been lucky and that ain’t half bad!

    The one change I would LOVE to make in my life is to quit my job (which I despise more and more every day) and embark on a career as a published historical romance author. I don’t have to get rich doing it. I’d settle for making the same money writing as I do at Walmart. I just want to make my money sitting at a computer in my pajamas with a 65 pound basset hound sitting on my feet!

  14. 14
    Pat Cochran says:
    January 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    Time spent with Honey and our family makes
    me the happiest! Singing in our parish choir
    and being with dear friends also make my
    heart happy.

    Pat C.

    

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