We’re Having a Party!

Posted by Joan Kayse May 5 2013, 12:21 am in Derby, historical romance, horses, Joan Kayse, Romance

Be calm people…..not here in The Lair although Goddess knows we have some great ones.

You go first. No YOU go first…

NOTE: Would all BB’s please check the Lost and Found closet on your next visit…it’s overflowing and giving Paolo fits. We also found some “interesting” items….Helen? Are you missing a cricket bat painted with Sven’s face? PJ….girl….is the chocolate fondue pot with glitter dipping sticks yours? And who Bedazzled this riding crop?

No, I’m talking right now, in River City aka Louisville. As I write this, a long shot won the Lilies for the Fillies, the Kentucky Oaks. It was preceded by a parade of breast cancer survivors, one of which is my dear BFF. It’s known as “Derby for Louisvillians” because really?  The main event is taken up by rich and famous and out of towners.

Don’t I look posh, darling?

Now, I love the races, go a couple of times a year. Yes, I bet on horses based on their names. Today alone, two drew my attention Kittens Dumplings and Admiral Kitten and dang….one called Fear the Kitten ALMOST got to be in the big race tomorrow!!!

The majority of our city folks don’t go through the root deep traditional or the over blown hoohaha of the actual event. But you always know that it’s Derby week:

1. Expressway signs start changing. Traffic cones delivered to exit ramps. Banners at the local strip clubs “Welcome” Derby visitors.

2. Wednesday is Steamboat race. Exaggerated hoopla with “shenanigans” built-in.

3. Pegasus Parade. Tried to watch it on TV only to come to the realization that parades aren’t parades anymore! The bands, the floats, the celebrities on cars all stop to perform for the camera! I’ve noticed this at the Macy’s day parade too. It’s a parade people! Move along, move along!

Also, on this day, you start noticing private jets flying into the airport. By tomorrow, a huge tarmac will be wing to wing with Lears. Among the well heeled are sheiks…very into racing. Sounds like a Harlequin “The Sheik’s Lost Horse Trainer’s Secret Baby”

4. The Goodyear Blimp arrives. This year, painted as a minion from Despicable Me? Next year, expect a Romance Bandits one

5. Right now a local society couple are having their annual bash to benefit Diabetes. It’s held at their modest mansion in the center of a historically posh neighborhood. Celebrities come, locals in formal wear. Several years ago I was among the onlookers. My friend and had a good view from the rear. It was amusing watching glamorous ladies try to use a Porto Potty in full gowns

So most years I’m a bit blasé about all of it. But this year, my friend and I decided we’d go down to Waterfront Park to the Chow Wagon. Nice area right along the Ohio River. It was a nice day, their were ducks and loads of people watching. Ok, I admit it. We went cause I saw a sign on a newscast for “Giant Corn Dogs”. :0  Didn’t realize they’d cost $10!

Here are some pics from our big party day…

So, I tried to get into the spirit. Had almost made it too. Until we went to leave and I got a Derby surprise. Here’s my imitation of Olympian McKayla Maroney

Derby fun?

What about you all? Does your community have any annual festivities?

53 Comments

The Girl in the Sparkly Tiara!

Posted by Joan Kayse Apr 13 2013, 12:47 am in birthdays, historival romance, Joan Kayse, The Patrician, The Patrician's Fortune

So, who is this mystery girl and why is she wearing a tiara?

It’s ME! Because today is my birthday….oh, yes it iiiisss…

Yep, (mumbles) years ago, my mama gave birth to a Joanie! First born, spoiled, endowed with many wonderful gifts from her wonderful parents, destined to cure the ill and injured and to fulfill her dream of writing for publication! Showered with gifts, (red check stuffed elephant with vinyl ears, Rebecca the doll soon covered with bandaids, Make up vanity, a REAL stereo) I’ve had great birthdays. 

The celebrations are a bit more subdued now…spread out as schedules with friends are hard to match up. While I’ve given myself some great presents (trip to DISNEYWORLD *hint, hint* Susan. I mean KY is between Minnesota and Florida..just sayin’) I’ve received many from friends. This years?

1. Flowerpots and dirt. These are per my request ffrom my brother along with dinner at my favorite steak house. It came THIS close to being the adoption fee for a new kitty….but decided I needed to wait on that.

2. One friend is taking me shopping….for new silverware. She and I BOTH noticed while she came to help out during my knee surgery that I only owned 4 forks??? WHO stole my forks?

3. Hugs and snuggles from my baby cats. Though raw tuna is a poor breakfast in bed..shhhh don’t tell them! It’s the thought that counts!

4. The Bandits. And all our BB’s. How lucky is this birthday girl to have so many great friends? Who put up with her?

These are great gifts of course, but I’d love some others. Given that we live in a world of imagination, what birthday presents would you send? A hundred downloads of THE PATRICIAN’S FORTUNE?

 If ANY are half naked men…I want them fresh and not over handled

Grab some cake, toot your horn and throw that confetti! It’s my birthday, oh, yes it iiiissss….

49 Comments

The Patrician’s Fortune is in the House

Posted by Joan Kayse Mar 13 2013, 12:05 am in ancient rome. The Patrician, historical romance, Joan Kayse, romance bandits, rome, suspense, The Patrician's Fortune

Or rather, in the villa.

That’s right! Today is launch day for the second book in my Patrician series, Damon’s story: THE PATRICIAN’S FORTUNE!

Grab a sangria, a goblet of wine, the gladiator or cabana boy of your choice and recline upon the Roman couches and join me in celebrating.

Damon Primax, spy to a Roman senator has held my heart for a long while. I didn’t even know he existed until in the midst of writing THE PATRICIAN, he strolled in and dang near stole the show!  He is clever, wry, self-deprecating, a man forged from life’s experiences with a secret yearning for more than he feels he deserves. He doesn’t believe in luck, most of his having been bad until Julia Manulus’ enters his life. And then…..

Stuff happens

Here, try the snail canapes Paolo made. (HINT: It’s really chicken salad) and enjoy an excerpt:

Julia paced in front of her father’s favorite sedan chair, kicking the hem of her ochre stola out of the way with each agitated turn. What was taking Kaj so long? Had the criminal balked at the preparations? If he objected to the simple matter of a bath, what would his reaction be to her proposal?

She paused mid-turn, twisted her ring.  He might refuse, call her mad. Julia rolled her eyes and resumed her pacing. Of course he would agree. Live or die, the choice was simple.

Wasn’t it?

Oh, this was ridiculous. She was used to handling matters of importance and used to making important decisions. Her household functioned smoothly because her servants and family trusted her. She had never failed them and she would not begin now.

It would be a simple matter of establishing from the very start with the ruffian that she was the mistress and demanded obedience and compliance. He was a common criminal while Julia was the daughter of a noble Roman house. There was nothing more to it.

Then why was her stomach tied in knots?

Footsteps echoed along the corridor, slowing as they approached the door. Julia sat in her father’s chair, arranged the folds of her tunic and lifted her chin. This meeting would be brief, long enough for him to grovel at her feet, express his gratitude for his rescue and listen docilely to his role in her plan.

Kaj entered first, the fierce look on his face sending fresh waves of uncertainty crashing through her. He must have had a difficult time getting the man’s cooperation. Criminals were violent, crude and void of moral standards. She twisted her ring. She hadn’t considered that the man might not be ethical.

Julia pushed the doubts away. The decision had been made and she would not back away from it. Stubborn is what her father would call her and she supposed it was true though she preferred determined. Either way she took after Octavian in such matters and that was a point of pride.

Kaj bit out an unintelligible order over his shoulder. Julia took a deep breath and focused on the door determined to keep her revulsion concealed. Instead, her breath caught in her throat.

The man who strode into the room bore no resemblance to the beaten, debased creature of seven nights past. He was the most striking male she’d ever seen. He reminded her of a sculpture she’d once admired of the war god Mars. His nose was straight, adding to the aristocratic features of his face with its firm chin, squared jaw and full, sensual mouth.

His hair, the shade of nutmeg now that the grime had been washed away, had been trimmed, chopped off in a ragged line just below the nape of his neck. Combined with the long layers that brushed across his eyes, it gave him a tousled look as though he had just arisen from a long night’s sleep—or bed play. 

Dear Jupiter.

She took a steadying breath and continued her visual inspection. He could stand to gain some weight, though in truth the leanness of his frame added to the sleek hard lines of his body. A warrior’s physique on a criminal? A tremor of unease flared within her.

At Kaj’s barked command he halted. Legs braced apart, broad shoulders pulled back he looked like a general on the verge of battle. It wasn’t difficult to imagine him dressed in armor, sword at the ready.

With effort, she banished the image from her mind and concentrated. Criminals were not supposed to be heart-stoppingly handsome. Julia searched his features for some flaw, some outward sign of his corrupt nature. Her heart tumbled in her chest when he turned and pinned her with a glittering, silver gaze.

 Julia fought not to squirm under his intense scrutiny, watched as he scanned her in a leisurely fashion. She felt the rush of heat to her cheeks when his gaze lingered on her breasts. The corner of his mouth lifted into a crooked smile.

“Goddess. At last we meet.”

Sigh…..Oops, sorry (makes mad dash for slipping Sangria glass) I went to my “happy place”.

So celebrate with me! Bring your usual snacks, grab a drink and let’s party!

One commenter will gain “fortune” and win a download of  THE PATRICIAN’S FORTUNE!

49 Comments

Recuperating–Kitty Style

Posted by Joan Kayse Feb 13 2013, 12:30 am in cats, Joan Kayse, Romance

You’ll forgive me if today’s post is a bit on the shorter side. That’s because I’m into week 3 of recovery from a knee replacement.

Dear. God. In. Heaven.

Wow, it has been an eye opener for this 30 plus year orthopaedic nurse. To say I’ve gained unique perspective from the patient point of view is an understatement. Fortunately, I’ve had the best caregivers: Brother, friends bearing chicken noodle/casserole/dumpling dishes and willing to do laundry or slap me around when a pity party threatens.

And then there are the kittes.

Gotta make sure the bed is ready!

Seriously, hanging out with my baby cats 24/7 has been fun and they are doing their part.  In fact, I believe their special kind of healing began in the hospital. The 2nd night after my surgery, I kept waking up “sensing” Cricket in my room! Now, we both know I was not at home and she doesn’t drive so she couldn’t have been there, right? Right? RIGHT?

But then I came home. Cricket is the shy one even around me, but this little girl gloamed onto me like a magnet. You’ve seen the one commercial where a guy has his two kitties around his ankles like boots? That is Miss Cricket. She’s lying in my lap, draped over my ankles, following my walker, meowing her little head off. She keeps wanting to lie ON my healing knee.

Grayson is still the inquisitive one. He splays out across my chest, sniffs around the walker, the CPM machine (passive motion machine), a trick that makes me nervous when he gets around the controls! He distracts me with his antics and I’m convinced he’s set the world record for tail chasing.

Wonder what this button does?

Now, back to more kitty therapy!

What about your pets? Do they sense when you aren’t feeling well? What do they do to make you feel better?

23 Comments

Games People Play

Posted by Joan Kayse Jan 13 2013, 12:44 am in games, historical romance. The Patrician, Joan Kayse, romance bandits

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Ooo…Joanie’s gonna talk about the deceivers, the manipulators, the ones who drive you to drink, make your workplace miserable, cause relationships to break down.”

Nope.

I’m talking about games people play when they are at a party!

Over the holidays, I had occasion to celebrate with my two “adopted” families. After present opening, pizza eating and general “Hey, how are ya’s”, we played games. Not silly established games like Monopoly, charades or Twister (oy…my back) but traditional ones from their familial history.

Family #1

After being held at knifepoint by their 4 year old (another blog), we gathered around the dining room table to play “Spoons”. Simple enough. One less soup spoon then there were players, lined up in the middle of the table. With two decks of cards, the dealer rapid fire dealt cards. The goal is to get 4 of any card (i.e. Queens, twos). If you didn’t want the card you passed to the person beside you. First person to get 4, takes a spoon. Hilarity ensues…

Or should I say “Blood Bath”?

Dear. God. In. Heaven. It was every spoon for itself! Growling, snatching, pouting, deep scoop cuts. And with each round, a spoon was removed.

Had loads of fun. Eventually stopped the bleeding. Came home and took a “pill.”

Family #2

Larger group. Mostly, young folk in their 20′s. Established game of dominoes. A game of poise, and strategy and

SNATCHING VICTORY FROM THE GUEST WHILE WEARING A DINOSAUAR HAT!

“pant, pant”.

And watch out for “Grandma” she was clever…oh, yes she was clever. Clever like a domino fox!

So what games do your families play when you get together? Friendly sport, or every man for himself? What game do you think the Bandits would excel at?

51 Comments

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas My True Bandita Gave…

Posted by Joan Kayse Dec 25 2012, 11:30 pm in Bandita Booty, Donna MacMeans, Joan Kayse

The Winner of the Rooster Mug/Saucer and Starbucks coffee is awarded by JoJo Kittel and company to…….

(Elf roll please…er, yeah)

DEB!!!

Deb, send your information to Joanie through her writing cave and the master elf will get it out to you!

AND

The winner of an Celtic Christmas ornament, a rooster ornament or dragon cookie cutter, a sugar cookie mix and a copy of CASANOVA CODE  from the tenth day of Christmas is

LIANNE!!!

Lianne, please visit www.DonnaMacMeans.com and send me your contact information.  I’ll get that out ASAP

I hope everyone had a fabulous New Year.  Now on to get ready to welcome 2013!

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The Victor Is….

Posted by Joan Kayse Dec 15 2012, 11:29 pm in 12 Bandita Days of Christmas, Joan Kayse, prize winner, The Patrician

The winner of a download for Nook or Kindle OR a print copy of THE PATRICIAN is…

Demetrius, the trumpet blare if you please….

MAUREEN!

Send my your preference and information (email for download, snail mail for print) by entering my mysterious writing cave and clicking on the contact icon!

Dormice for everyone!

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Next Big Blog

Posted by Joan Kayse Nov 30 2012, 12:53 am in historical romance, historicals, Joan Kayse, Lyndsey Lewellen, The Patrician

What is the title of your book?

The Patrician. First in the Roman series.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

I’ve always been a fan of period history especially the Roman time period. I think it started with lazy Sundays watching all the “classic” movies with my Dad…Ben Hur, The Robe. Also a fascination with the intricacies of an Empire. All powerful. All consuming. Corruption undermining lofty goals. Plus I like guys in tunics

 What genre does your book fall under?

Historical fiction specifically historical ROMANCE

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie?

Gilles Marini would make a GREAT Jared. Sigh, love me some Gilles. As to Bryna? A combination of Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence. As for Cuini the cat? Cricket

What is a one sentence synopsis of your book?

Love conquers empires

Will your book be self published or represented by an agency?

This week I went live with THE PATRICIAN via Kindle/Nook/Kobo/Smashwords and soon Createspace. I love sharing my stories with readers!

 How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

THE PATRICIAN is the evolved version of my first manuscript. VERY first one? Probably 18 months. During that time though, I was learning and reading and networking all to make the story even better.

Who or What inspired you to write this book?

The decision to begin writing came during one of those moments when you reexamine your life and what you want to do with it. My mother had passed away and the loss of her light hit me hard. I am proud to be a nurse but I wanted to make a larger impact. I love the energy that comes from crafting a story.

What else about your book might interest the reader?

Number one would be the non-traditional time period. I love Regency, westerns but crave the vibrancy of other eras. Vikings, Colonial, Civil War, Ancient….all of them have stories to tell.

As part of the Next Big Blog, I’m to tag four other authors. This opportunity came a bit on the shorter notice side so other bloggsters were committed. But I’d love for you to check out these Bandits websites and their books! www.suzanneferrell.com , www.susansey.com, www.tawnyweber.com and www.jeanneadams.com

Do you have a Kindle? A Nook? What draws you to a new book?

32 Comments

There’s a New Baby at Our House

Posted by Joan Kayse Sep 13 2012, 12:32 am in Joan Kayse, Kids, New Baby

Ok, quick. How many of you JUMPED to the conclusion that I had stepped over to the next level of “Crazy Cat Lady” and brought Cupcake home?

(Counting) Oh, good grief.

Nope, not a new kitty. A “Grand-Goddaughter”.  The daughter of my heart, Lauren is about to give birth to HER daughter Aria!

As I write this, we are still waiting, but today, Sept. 13th is her due date and Lauren, her husband Jerry, her family and I cannot wait to hold this precious new life.

You know I was never blessed with a child of my own. Just not in the cards for me this time

 around. BUT…God gave me two wonderful gifts.

First is my BFF, Lauren’s mother Mary. The sister of my heart, Mary and I have been friends since 2nd grade. When she was a young mother I would spend the day at her house on my days off. It gave her adult conversation, distraction and ME plenty of cuddle time with Lauren and her brother.

Prejudice aside, I can say that Lauren was the sweetest, cutest thing in the world. Whenever I came over, she would climb into my lap. I used to joke she’d still be doing it at her high school graduation, but she was a cuddle bug. Other tidbits:

1. She was a paciy (pacifier) addict. She would have one in her mouth and another in her hand.

On a quilt my Mom made.

2. She was a “free spirit”. Once, her Mom was incredibly sick with the stomach flu and her Dad was at work. I went over to get Mary to take her to the doctor. We were going to drop the kids off at Mary’s Mom’s so I put a little pull over sundress on Lauren. Went to tend her Mom and “wheeeee” she’d slipped it off and was running around “au natural”. Put it back on, got Mary to the bedroom to change. “Wheeeee” Lauren zipped by laughing and clothes free. This went on for about 20 min. Finally got Mary to the doctor and Lauren..DRESSED thank you…to her grandma’s.

3. I’m a scaredy cat. I hate scary movies. When she was 3 years old, we were going to watch Ghostbusters. I didn’t know it was all goofy and worried outloud that I didn’t want to see it. Lauren climbed up on my lap, put her hand over my eyes and said “I’ll protect you Joan.” Humbling.                                                

Christmas is ALWAYS better with babies

4. Babysitting at my apartment. Ms. Lauren had been, we’ll say a bit to rambunctious, and I had scolded her. She made a boo boo face so I hugged her and we sat there on the couch. Me, blissfully loving the feel of her tiny body against mine…how she was so sweet…how I loved her and was so glad to have her in my life. She? She was methodically taking saltines out of a sleeve on the table beside me and crushing them into the carpet!

5. Her favorite tagline growing up? “Joan got money.”

Wheeeeee

I could go on and on but I think you’ll see that she is one special lady in my life. And now…NOW…she’s about to become a mother! It’s surreal actually, but I know she’ll make a wonderful, wonderful mother. She may even learn to cook LOL. (Her Mom is the BEST cook).

But one thing I do know, is that I am still so very blessed to have this new little one to hold and cuddle and teach to purr

What could I do? She took the saltines away from me!

Can’t wait to add Aria’s pictures to these! Love ALL my girls!

PS. I also will take this opportunity to thank Mary from the bottom of my heart. As I said in a toast at Lauren’s wedding “No greater gift could one woman give to another than to share the life of her child.” Here’s to you Nana, Grandmama, Granny, Gigi, Grandmere

Do you all have special kids in your life? What is the greatest gift your friend (s) have given to you?

35 Comments

Diary of a Mad Writer

Posted by Joan Kayse Aug 13 2012, 1:19 am in Jo Davis, Joan Kayse, kristan higgins, Lisa Tapp, RWA conference, Self-publishing, Susan Sey, Suzanne Ferrell

It should say “How I Went to Conference and Didn’t Bring Grayson a Present”.

Yep, you guessed it. This is Grayson aka The Monkey Cat here. I thought I deserved equal time on this blog thingee Mom does since Cricket got a turn not to0 long ago. (Rubs paws with glee). Let’s get this puppy, er, kitten on the road!

Mom had lined up a BORING topic on …well, who know what it was on, the point was it was boring. 

So I stole….er, borrowed…her diary from her recent trip to the RWA Conference in Anaheim, CA. Let’s just see what she was up to while we kitties languished in our naps back here.

DAY 1:  Flying out WAY too early. Really, planes are awake at 5:30?  Wait in Chicago not too bad…they had McD’s Diet Coke!!! And $5 Skittles. Sheesh! Arrive at John Wayne Airport. Wow, the palm trees are SO pretty! Sorry, FL but they outrank yours. Hotel is nice, walk a freakin’ mile and half to the McD’s “just down the road” for a, you guessed it, Diet Coke. What’s that across the street? It’s feakin’ Disneyland! Time change claimed me 7:30 their time. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

GRAYSON: Um, what’s wrong with zzzz’s? And really Mom…this addiction to Diet Coke…we need an intervention.

DAY 2:A Freebie day. My roomie Lisa along with Suz Ferrell and Jo Davis rent a car and drive to Laguna Beach. One word: AWESOME!!! Park by beach was gorgeous. Where does California get all these beautiful plants? The Pacific ocean is COLD but the sand was perfect. Looked around the artsy community and at the lifeguards…yummy. Enjoyed an Irish pub with the cool ocean breezes. Sigh.

LT and Me!

GRAYSON: Sand? Did somebody say sand? Oooooo…I love me some fresh sand. And what are lifeguards? Are they like tuna treats? Yummy, we like tuna treats…and salmon…and chicken.

Day 3: Me and the bestie went to Disneyland, the original “House of the Mouse.”

GRAYSON: MOUSE?????   (Falls into pounce position)

Tried to take it in stride as the birthplace of all that is Disney but…after many years of visiting the much larger and varied Disneyworld, a bit of a disappointment. Course, didn’t help that I got a park map in FRENCH!  Plus was meeting Barbara Vey and her friend Sheila and sharing Mickey waffles.

Tuesday evening, met with Banditas Jeanne, Susan and Suz for dinner. Nice, and relaxed and lots of fun. Was especially glad to see my little duckling from St. Paul.

GRAYSON: (Spins in circle) Duckling? What duckling? Do they taste like chicken?

DAY 4: Returned to Disneyland with Susan Sey, aka Duckling. Enjoyed spending time though she did get a bit grumpy. (Don’t care what she says, she looks like “Ta da! I am a Dwarf” presidential candidate. Disappointed that I couldn’t find any Mickey souvenirs for my baby cats.

GRAYSON: Ears, perked up! Is that like prezzies???? What’s WRONG with that place!

Enjoyed a drink with Kristan Higgins and the Literacy signing! It was HUGE!

DAY 5: Down to business at the conference. PRO retreat turned out really nice. Big moment came with Keynote speaker Stephanie Laurens. Spoke on writers having control, having say on the path to getting their stories out. Think Norma Rae. The energy was, well,energizing!  Ate chicken served with new perspective. (On writing pathway, not the chicken).

Had a hallway massage, LOL. Couldn’t help but laugh when lady next to me said to surfer boy massage guy. “I can take a lot…..of pressure” Yes, I am evil.

DAY 6: Great workshops. Sat in on Michael Hague.  Lunch included….chicken and a bread basket with a note that said “Contains Gluten”. Really? Even my baby cats would know that!

Agent appt. went fine. Asked for a partial of the Irish Myth Warriors first book. Hope for quick response. Hope for a YES!

Attended St. Martin’s reception. Chatted more with Duckling, other interesting folk. Discussed self-publishing trend with a duo of agents. Interesting that THEY are forming their OWN pathway to this venue. Um, writers don’t need that now. Felt sorry for them and ordered them another drink. And wow, lobster pot stickers! Yummy.

GRAYSON: (Stomach rumbles) What is this lobster of which you speak?

DAY7: Kind of a laid back day. Went to some booksignings, chatted more with my peeps about self-publishing. Formulating plan, feeling excited. Decide that diversity is key to solid career. Hmmmmm. Went to a Goodreads presentation. Interesting, interesting, confusing, but interesting.

Missing my babies so much!

GRAYSON: (Sniff) We’re missing you too Mama!

Lovely GH/RITA ceremony. Congrats to all the winners!

DAY 8: On my way home! New energy! Have decided to self-pub my three Roman historical romances! Continue traditional path for Irish boyos at this point but ready for this new path!

GRAYSON: (Running around, leaping, chasing tail, mewing) Mama’s home! Mama’s home! Better than tuna bites).

Joanie opens door. Grayson sits watching her, twitches a whisker.

GRAYSON: Sure am glad she’s back! LOVE that she is excited about this writing thingee she does….whole reason? Maybe she can stay home with me more   Watch for annoucements about The Romans! I’ll help!  

 So what about you? Have you found new authors in the self-pubbed world? What led you to them?

 Ever had to leave a pet behind for vacation? Do you bring your pet’s souvenirs?

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