Posted by Cassondra Murray Dec 18 2015, 12:10 am in Cassondra Murray, Cassondra's blogs, Food Fight, gravy, holiday, holiday meals, Jeanne Adams, southern cooking
Have you ever been faced with an unexpected challenge where you’ve gone “Oh sh** can I pull this off?”
That happened to me this Thanksgiving.
We were lucky enough to get asked to Thanksgiving dinner this year at the home of two dear friends. The couple was newly married, and a group of us descended on their house as the final meal preparations were in full swing.
It was a pitch-in dinner, so we had a bit of everything. But the main entre’ was oven-roasted turkey. And contrary to Duchesse Jeanne’s ideology, if you’re having turkey, you must have mashed potatoes and gravy. But that’s a whole nuther story.
Jeanne: Yes! To the mashed potatoes. A resounding NO WAY to the gravy. Nope. Slimy madness, I tell you. What is this passion people have for pouring fowl grease over everything on their plates??
Cassondra: Excuse me…it’s about…you know…taste….flavor. And I was trying to tell a story here.
Jeanne: *looking abashed* Oh. Sorry. Pray, continue!
Cassondra: Alrighty then. The cook of this couple is a young man who took on the challenge of a big group for Thanksgiving, and he handled it perfectly. In the final few minutes, with the stand mixer whirring the mashed potatoes into creamy goodness, he pulled the perfectly browned, perfectly moist turkey out of the oven with a flourish, transferred it to a platter to be carved, turned back to the roasting pan and…hesitated.
I was helping wash up the prep dishes because pitch-in dinners are just that way—I can’t sit around and not help if there’s stuff to be done—when I caught the slight panic in his eyes. His gaze landed on me and he said, “Cassondra, can you make the gravy?”
“Absolutely!” I forced confidence into my voice.
Truth? I’ve made gravy a bunch. And I’ve failed a bunch.
Jeanne: *whispers* That’s because good gravy is hard, and bad gravy is awful! I can make good gravy, but why?
Cassondra: *glares* For you who aren’t aware, gravy is one of the pinnacle dishes for the successful southern woman who plans to call herself a cook, because no holiday meal is complete, whether it’s ham or turkey, without a side of mashed potatoes made into a perfect pond, filled with yummy, slurpalicious gravy.
Cassondra: *squints at Jeanne* Whether it’s white gravy (we call that breakfast gravy around these parts) or brown gravy (that’s dinner gravy), bottom line, it’s the nectar of the gods.
Jeanne: *harrumphs* No matter what you call it, its as nutty as yesterday’s fudge to drown perfectly magnificent biscuits in white gravy, and equally superb potatoes in brown gravy. But you have to finish the story. What did you do?
Cassondra: *rolls eye* In a minute. Breakfast gravy is not just for biscuits. I don’t eat it that way, though I have complete respect for a good plate of hot homemade biscuits smothered in freshly made white gravy.
Anyway…Breakfast gravy, for some of us, is to hide the eggs, so we can get our protein without actually…you know…tasting the bird embryos.
Jeanne: Snork! Loooooove me some bird embryos.
Cassondra: *wrinkles nose* I want so much to like them, but I don’t really. The gravy smooths the way. *glances at Jeanne’s “ain’t givin’ in” look* I see we have another food fight brewing here, don’t we?
Jeanne: *looks smug* Well, it IS our little Evil Twin, holiday tradition!
Cassondra: Okay fine. Let’s just stop right here and settle this.
Jeanne: Pistols at dawn? *grins*
Cassondra: No. Mashed potatoes at dinner. *taps foot a few times, contemplating* How can this be? You grew up in the south. I mean, surely your mama made gravy. How can you not like it? What’s not to like about gravy?
Jeanne: I’m totally down with mashed potatoes. LOVE them. Any kind of potato – Irish, Yukon, Sweet, red-skinned – can be mashed in my presence and I will rejoice and sit down to eat. It’s the drowning in grease that I loathe.
Jeanne: *holds up hand, stopping the interruption* Gravy is just….what was it you said yesterday? Ah, yes, *clears throat to produce the perfect sound* “EWWWWW!” It’s neither liquid nor solid – a perpetual confusion of form – and it’s frequently too salty and lumpy to be borne. Mostly, however, it’s the texture for me. I’m pretty much okay with the salt part, but it’s just…slimy. Sorry can’t come up with a better word.
Cassondra: *squares shoulders, shakes finger back and forth* It’s neither liquid nor solid because it’s sauce. You know…..that stuff that elevates good food to excellent? Good gravy is sauce, and is neither greasy nor slimy. That’s bad gravy. Explain.
Jeanne: In a minute. Not only is it greasy AND slimy, people really do put it on everything on their plates. Seriously! You know that, right? OMGosh. They drown the dressing, the turkey, the potatoes, the casseroles (whatever those may be) and suddenly their plates look like a lake with protruding boulders of meat and veg. Bleech.
Cassondra: *considers* Casseroles are a whole nuther argument. Okay I’ll give you that a sea of gravy with protruding food lumps is gross. But that’s not the gravy’s fault. That’s the error of the user. Blaming the gravy for that mess is like blaming the pencil for accounting errors! It’s like blaming the spoon when you gain weight!
Jeanne: *ignoring all this* It’s not just the lumps on the plate. The lumps in the gravy itself…*shudders*
Cassondra: Give us all a break here. NOBODY makes lump-free gravy the first time. It takes good technique and lots of practice. And even excellent cooks fail now and then.
Jeanne: Lumpy gravy is gross. But you’re right. It takes practice getting that whisk going just right and making sure your flour doesn’t clump.
Cassondra: Yeah, and about that….you said you make good gravy. If you don’t like gravy, how do you know you make good gravy? Gravy is an art form. What exactly does “good gravy” mean to a woman who doesn’t eat it?
Jeanne: Well, good gravy is, like your mama’s fudge, acceptable in one format only. I think it is only good on stuffing. Not dressing, which is a solid, usually cube-like mass, but dressing, which is fluffier, breadier, and, well, better. Grins. (I do believe we never settled that whole dressing/stuffing thing, did we?)
Cassondra: We settled that one. We agreed to disagree. Good stuffing is not *grimaces* cube-like.
Jeanne: *ignoring the cube comment* And as to what good gravy IS, it’s smooth, light, and well blended, having only moderate or minced pieces of meat in it. These would be from the pan drippings, of course, which you use to make said gravy. If it’s from a jar? Bleeech.
Cassondra: Well at least we agree on that. I understand busy moms and harried cooks feeding their families have to sometimes resort to quicker alternatives. But gravy is so fundamentally easy
Jeanne: *raises eyebrow*
Cassondra: It is. Once you get the hang of it, it’s quicker to make gravy from drippings than it is to make it from some envelope of powder. And I can taste premix gravies a mile away. Same as I can taste fake mashed potatoes, which are, by the way, abomination. *steps back, takes a moment*
Jeanne: Well, we definitely agree there, for sure. *shudders* Fake mashed potatoes. Who thought that was a good idea? Anyway, I guess I don’t know that I DO make good gravy other than that people who’ve been with us at holiday meals where I’ve made it say I do, and then promptly empty the gravy boat. Grins.
Cassondra: You own a gravy boat? *hesitates* Wait. What am I saying? You’re almost as much of a dish whore as I am. Of course you own a gravy boat.
Jeanne: *looks smug yet again* I have several, actually. The Mikasa one there is the “big” gravy boat I use. I have a silver and a Limoges and, I think, a plain white one. Ha! But I only make gravy because there’s bound to be a mutiny at my table if I don’t, given that my darling husband and I’ll-eat-anything-not-nailed-down son are fans.
Cassondra: *studies nails* Gentlemen of refined taste, I’d say.
Jeanne: Snork! Not disagreeing, but snork! Can I continue?
Cassondra: Sorry. I get a little carried away about gravy. *waves hand* Proceed, proceed.
Jeanne: Ahem. My youngest, he’s a texture guy, like me. He steers wide and clear of the gravy. Now the cranberry sauce, on the other hand….if you want any, get it before my youngest does. Grins.
Cassondra: *shakes head* Likes slimy, ooky cranberry sauce but doesn’t like nice, smooth gravy.
Jeanne: *quirks a smile* Likes tasty, fruity, tangy delicious cranberry sauce and abjures gravy. (Have to confess, I think he suspects I will try to hide food he doesn’t like with said gravy, which he already doesn’t like the texture of, even when it’s GOOD gravy.) And you nearly turned me green with that can of “gluten-free-vegetable-gravy” – As my mother would say, “What in tarnation are they thinking?” Vegetables do NOT make gravy. Furthermore, most gluten-free stuff is like most organic stuff – it isn’t. SNORK! (But that’s a fight for another day!)
Cassondra: Ha! We have the truth of it! You gravy haters actually fear what’s hidden UNDERNEATH the gravy! Muahahahaha! The truth comes out!
Jeanne: *rolls eyes* You never did tell us how your gravy turned out.
Cassondra: It actually rocked. Good homemade drippings plus a little thickening…POOF! Good gravy!
Now it‘s up to you, Bandits and Buddies. I lost yesterday’s food fight in a terrible rout.
What about gravy?
Do you like it?
Brown gravy? Or White gravy?
If it’s white gravy for breakfast, do you like sausage in yours? (I don’t, but it’s very popular here in the south)
At the holidays, does your gravy go on your potatoes? Your turkey or ham? Your dressing? Do you drink it with a straw? I just about could….ahem.
Can you make your own gravy? What’s your secret to getting it to come out smooth?
Do you use a mix as a starter base? Or do you make it from scratch? Share your gravy secrets!
And do you own a gravy boat? More than one?
It’s that time of year for savory sauces. Let’s dish on gravy.
One commenter today will receive a $10 Barnes & Noble gift card from Cassondra, plus a copy of DEAD RUN, Jeanne’s latest Faithful Defenders romantic suspense, and a German Shepherd ornament!
photos courtesy of Wikipedia and the authors
Posted by Cassondra Murray Dec 18 2014, 12:42 am in 12 Bandita Days of Christmas, Cake Donuts, Cassondra Murray, Cassondra's blogs, donuts, Doughnuts, Dunkin Donuts, Glazed Donuts, holiday meals, holiday shortcuts, Jeanne Adams, Krispy Kreme, Yeast Donuts, Yeast doughnuts vs cake doughnuts
Jeanne: So, Cassondra, were you surprised by yesterday’s food fight results? I know I was! So many people like Krispy Kremes! And I think you won the total overall vote for glazed donuts. (Pardon me while I roll my eyes, okay?)
Cassondra: Well, they’re popular for a reason.
Jeanne: Yeah, yeah. Okay. So moving right along…what about dipping? Do you dip your donut in coffee or tea?
Cassondra: Neither. I dip in milk. I like milk with my donuts. Ha! Bet ya didn’t see THAT coming. *grin* Do you dip?
Jeanne: I’ve done it on occasion, in my coffee. *looks smug*
Cassondra: *wrinkles nose* Speaking of coffee. How do you like yours? Do you go for the holiday specialties at the coffee shop?
Jeanne: Ew. I’d like to avoid it, but you know how it is this time of year. EVERYTHING has a “special holiday flavor” – I know that makes me sound like the Grinch,
Cassondra: *interrupts* You’re a MEAN one, Jeeeeeeanne Grinch…
Jeanne: Snork! Great, now I’ll have the song stuck in my head all day….Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Griiiinch!
Anyway, I really hate flavored coffees or teas. I like my Starbucks Mocha, or plain coffee with cream. No caramel. No hazelnut. No vanilla, and for heaven’s sake NO PEPPERMINT!!
Okay y’all, you might as well know. I could order for Jeanne at Starbucks. I’ve seen her do it often enough. In fact, I HAVE ordered for her. That’s it over there on the right. “I’d like a Venti non-fat, extra-whip Mocha.” *tries to look taller as she bats eyelashes, pretending to be Jeanne*
Jeanne: Snork! You do that far too well!
Cassondra: If only I could look blonde.
Okay, okay. Now when it comes to the fancy coffee drinks from Starbucks or Peet’s or Seattle’s Best–and Jeanne’s mocha definitely qualifies as one of those–or when it comes to a plain old cup of coffee, I don’t like many flavors. I like flavored coffee ONLY in certain circumstances, and only certain flavors.
But hey! This is one of those circumstances! It’s that time of year, right? Peppermint things are dancing around Christmas trees for cripes sake.
Jeanne: *shocked*: You mean you DO like peppermint coffee?? How could I not know this about you?
Cassondra: *gesticulates wildly* How can you not like peppermint?
Jeanne: Oh, I like all those flavors on their own. I just don’t like them in coffee. Or tea. OMGosh, I despise flavored teas. Give me good old Earl Gray, or a hearty black leaf tea like Orange Pekoe. Twinings. Constant Comment. Hearty tea. And if its gonna be hot – perfect for this time of year – there’s to be no milk. No lemon. None of this foo-foo flavoring. Bleech.
Cassondra: I really, REALLY hate to break it to you, but darlin’, Earl Grey Is. A. Flavor! So is MOCHA in coffee, for that matter. I like the idea of mocha, but honestly? It’s the texture. Mocha is chocolate flavored but it’s thick. It makes the coffee “thick.” So now I really want a peppermint mocha from Starbucks, but I can’t stand the texture so instead I get a peppermint latte with whipped cream and fancy fixins. That’s it over there on the left. Cuz I don’t want…you know…THICK coffee.
Jeanne: Snork! You are so picky.
Cassondra: YOU like thick coffee. Admit it.
Jeanne: Absolutely. Chocolate in coffee, and whipped cream, are naturally occurring additives. They’re fitting. They’re companion flavors. Adding other things, like the new Starbucks Roasted Chestnut Latte, are just icky. And seriously, they made a mistake the other day and made me a peppermint mocha instead of my usual mocha.
Cassondra: Yum! (except for the thick mocha part)
Jeanne: Hey! I’ve been going to “my” Starbucks since it opened – more than 15 years! – and they’ve never made it with peppermint. I took a big ‘ol drink as I walked out the door. Nearly choked. Turned right back in and handed it to the barista. Poor thing, he was the new guy. He blushed.
“What?” he asked as all the other baristas gathered around. They know me.
“It’s Peppermint,” I said, handing it to him. “Icky. No peppermint. Ever.”
Laughter from the other baristas.
“Just a mocha,” they chorused. “Not white mocha, not peppermint, nothing but mocha .”
“And extra whip!” the longest-serving barista added.
See? They know me. No foo-foo flavors.
Cassondra: WAIT just a minute. YOU get to pick WHICH flavors are foo foo and which are not just cuz you like some and not others? *waggles finger* I don’t think so. And they aren’t saying anything about the CHOCOLATE flavor—and the THICK coffee.
Here’s the deal. I don’t like ANY pre-flavored coffees—like those pre-flavored beans you get at the grocery store? I know, I know, lots of people like those. But me? Blech. Gross me out the door.
Jeanne: Whew! I’m glad we agree there, I was beginning to worry!
Cassondra: Yes, but if I go to a coffee shop, and it’s the right time of year, I’ll get a peppermint flavored coffee. It just seems fitting.
And here’s a secret–once again—just a plain cup of coffee, with no fancy steamed milk or froth and no espresso. At home, during these long, dark days of winter, I’ve been known to pull the cinnamon out of my spice cabinet and put a tablespoon of ground cinnamon in the coffeemaker on top of the ground coffee. *slurp* I learned this trick from one of my favorite little restaurants in Nashville, Calypso Café. They serve fabulous cinnamon coffee year-round, and they’re known for it. Just the right hint of cinnamon. And it’s REAL cinnamon. You know—bark from a tree–nothing fake. It’s an antidepressant.
Jeanne: Okay yeah. I’ve had that coffee. It was decent. But I wouldn’t want it very often.
Cassondra: Oh! And y’all…..there’s this whole other thing. I happen to know that Duchesse Jeanne has drunk the Keurig Koolaid. *pauses for effect* Yep, that’s right. She’s gone to the “pod” coffee. Which to me, is kind of like having a pod person replace your husband, but whatever.
Jeanne: I LOVE my Keurig! I don’t make a whole pot and have to throw it out!
Cassondra: I make a whole pot, and I don’t throw it out. Just sayin.
Jeanne: That must be what puts the famous sarcastic bite in your humor. And seriously, if I drank the pot? *Boing! Bing! Smash! Crash! Boing!* That would be me, barreling off the walls for the rest of the day.
Cassondra: Hey. I own that sarcastic bite. But seriously. A pod-brewed cup, while a VAST improvement over sorry single-serving hotel packages, does not taste the same as a POT of brewed coffee.
Jeanne: Oh, yes it does. What do you think is different?
Cassondra: A pot has time to sit there and mingle. It has time for all the coffee molecules to dance around each other and become something fabulous. Coffee from a pod can never escape its humble beginnings. It just can’t.
Jeanne: *rolls eyes* I love my Keurig. Serious Keurig love. A hot cup anytime, always a great taste. And look at all those gorgeous colors you can get if you buy a mini Keurig! That’s like the desktop model!
Cassondra: So it’s a Keurig of mini colors!
Hey, looky there. I made a joke.
Jeanne: Snork! Always a comedian in the bunch. Coffee from a Keurig is damn close to as good as a pot –as in 99% close. And hey…NO PEPPERMINT in sight! How about that? Besides, as the only one who drinks coffee in the household…yeah, like I said, I’d drink the whooole pot… so really, by brewing only a cup at a time, I’m doing the world a biiiig favor.
Cassondra: Okay, I’ll give you that. Nobody wants to face either one of us on too much caffeine.
Jeanne: Which brings up an important point. You ALL need to know that, while flavorings are at issue here, and definitely worth a fight, my evil twin and I are akin in one MAJOR thing.
We drink coffee for YOUR protection!! (Bwahahahaha!!)
Cassondra: Alas, it’s true. You don’t want to talk to me between the time I’ve gotten up and the time I’ve had the first cup of coffee. Word to the wise.
Oh and speaking of tea–Earl Grey or English Breakfast. Herbal tea at night.
Jeanne: *raises eyebrows*
Cassondra: Hey, I’m not a complete throwback. *raises pinky finger in the air, sips mock cup of tea*
Cassondra: And although I’ve weaned myself off of sugar in coffee. I use cream. Lots of it. Real half and Half. No fake creamers allowed.
Jeanne: On THAT, my evil twin, we agree. Lots of cream
So…How about it Banditas and Buddies? Coffee or tea in the morning?
With cream? Sugar? Or black and strong?
Do you like any additions? Peppermint? (BLECH!)
Cassondra: Hey! So do y’all like peppermint? Especially at the holidays? Caramel? Chocolate? Chestnut flavoring? Hazelnut? Pumpkin pie spice? Cinnamon?
Do you go for the special holiday drinks at coffee shops? Like the Pumpkin Spice latte or the Peppermint Mocha?
Or do you shuffle in, caffeine deprived, and say, “tall dark roast coffee please”?
Jeanne: Do you have a favorite coffee vendor? Are you a coffee snob and like Starbucks, Peets, Seattle’s Best and their ilk? Or do you refuse to get into all that…
Cassondra: *interrupts*… Like my mom–she buys her coffee at the grocery store. If that’s what you do, is it Folger’s? Maxwell House? Store brand?Generic? Special roast or the plain old original?
Jeanne: Or do you have a substitute like Bandita Donna? She carries a sleeve of Diet Coke wherever she goes. While we’re waiting for the coffeemaker to get going, she’s on her way with a *pop..fffffffizzzz…ahhhhh!*
And just for the sake of a survey….do you use a Keurig? Or do you brew your coffee in a pot?
Cassondra: We’re doing the same giveaway again today… in honor of the 12 days of Bandita Christmas, Jeanne is giving away ANOTHER Washington, DC, Starbucks mug and a $10 Starbucks card so you can have YUMMY coffee with your Christmas Donuts.
And I’m doing another grab bag of two random novels plus one piece of fun swag from my leftover box of conference swag. (Both giveaways are Continental US only.)
Posted by Jeanne Adams Dec 17 2014, 12:08 am in 12 Bandita Days of Christmas, Cake Donuts, Cassondra Murray, donuts, Doughnuts, Dunkin Donuts, Glazed Donuts, holiday meals, holiday shortcuts, Jeanne Adams, Krispy Kreme, Yeast Donuts, Yeast doughnuts vs cake doughnuts
Cassondra: A really, really bad thing has happened.
Jeanne: Oh no!
Cassondra: That’s a picture of the bad thing down there on the left. See it?
Jeanne: *squints* Is that a donut shop?
Cassondra: Oh, heck yeah. That’s a brand new Krispy Kreme donut shop. It opened this week in MY town.
Jeanne: Ew. Yes. That is a bad thing.
Cassondra: *takes a moment* Wait. You’re serious? *takes another moment* Are? You? Kidding? Me?
Jeanne: Nope. Don’t like ‘em.
Cassondra: You are my evil twin! HOW can you not like Krispy Kreme? OMG. They’re from your home state! Wait…don’t say it. Just DON’T.
Don’t say you like cake donuts.
Jeanne: Yup! Grins. Love ‘em.
Cassondra: Okay buddies, I think the busy season has fried my evil twin’s brain. And I can understand why.
It’s that time of year, after all. It’s the time of year when we all get so harried and rushed that we’ll break rules. Rules like “I don’t eat that.” Not because it’s just so yummy it’s irresistible—though that may well be the case—but because we’re too darn busy to fix real food. It’s cuz of all those relatives visiting.
Jeanne: All those presents to buy.
Cassondra: All those presents to WRAP.
Jeanne: The house to clean.
Cassondra: The fridge to stock. The meals to plan.
Jeanne: And the travel. Don’t forget the travel. Up early and on the road at the crack of dawn.
Cassondra: What’s that? I’m not familiar with this crack-of-dawn thing.
Jeanne: Snork! Wish I wasn’t familiar with it… Anyway, it’s true. When everyone lands at your house on the holidays, what’s the fallback for breakfast?
Jeanne: Yep. A great big box of ‘em. Who can resist a donut?
Cassondra: I can. If they’re cake donuts. Or if they have gross filling.
Jeanne: *heavy sigh*
Cassondra: Hey. Sue me. I like plain, old-fashioned glazed donuts. YEAST donuts. Hot and fresh out of the oven. *closes eyes, imagines yeasty, sugary donut smell* See that box over there on the right? You bring me THAT at your theoretical crack of dawn, all hot and yeasty-yummy from the oven, and I might become familiar with the concept of morning.
Jeanne: *looks skeptical* Seriously? All that fat and sugar just dripping off of that round, air-filled fluff of a thing? Where’s the substance? Where’s the OOMPH! That’s what can get you going in the morning. I mean, really, if you haven’t got time for the serious eggs, grits, bacon, biscuit breakfast, this at least has heft to it!
Cassondra: Blech. Heft like an anchor. If I’m going to eat cake, I’ll eat real CAKE. Leftover homemade. German chocolate or red velvet with homemade icing. Not some thick, smarmy, heavy thing that’s been coated and deep fried.
Jeanne: You NEVER buy cake donuts?
Cassondra: Not for me. I have to buy apple fritters sometimes for Steve. And he likes those disgusting French Crullers.
I mean, really. French Cruller? Sounds like a fishing vessel.
Jeanne: Snork! LMAO
Cassondra: See that box down on the left? The one with the cake donuts? I could have missed all three meals in one day, and that would still gross me out. What is that pink thing anyway?
Jeanne: That’s a donut. With strawberry icing.
Cassondra: Can somebody open a window? I need air. Or maybe alcohol. Or both.
Jeanne: *fans Cassondra* Oh, come on.
Cassondra: I like my donuts to have YEAST in them. It’s fried bread, okay? It’s slurpy good. Simple. Yeasty fried bread with simple sugar glaze on it.
Jeanne: Cake is bread.
Cassondra: See that photo down there on the right—the one of the Boston Crème donut in the box? There’s a reason that’s the last donut in the box! Not only does it have icky icing, but it has disgusting gooey…filling…stuff. Ew.
Jeanne: Okay, okay. I don’t care for the fillings either, but don’t talk about the filled donuts in front of my oldest son. He loves those.
Cassondra: He’s a teenage boy. Need I say more?
Jeanne: Nope. He can eat his weight in donuts, no matter what kind, but really likes those icky filled ones.
Cassondra: I feel faint. The gladiators might have to resuscitate me.
Jeanne: *Grins* Yeah, nothing like a good gladiator for resuscitation! And you’ll probably need a second go at it when I tell you that my husband likes the Boston Cremes, and will fight my son for them. Do you think it’s because his family is originally from Boston?
Cassondra: *rolls eyes and tries to ignore the cake donuts* Maybe. It just proves, once again, that men will eat virtually anything.
Jeanne: As a caveat, I have to say that my younger son, like you and I, eschews (so to speak) anything with filling unless it’s a corn dog.
Cassondra: That’s a different food fight – things on sticks. Let’s–*grin*–stick–to the point here. Glazed donuts are the only REAL donuts.
I mean, c’mon, Buddies and Banditas, look at that yummy goodness over there on the left. It’s a glazed YEAST donut. The ooooonly donut. Don’t you agree?
Jeanne: *Scoffing* I beg to differ, oh, my evil twin. CAKE donuts are the original. Like those on the right.
Cassondra: Blech! But just so we can preserve our evil twin status on SOMETHING, I know you agree that none of this gooey-center glop should grace the box, especially if you have company.
Jeanne: Absolutely. But….What do YOU think, Banditas and Buddies?
Cake donuts? Yeast donuts?
Plain or covered in anything?
And please, really, tell us you don’t eat those filled things?
Cassondra: Or if you do like the filling, what kind?
And French crullers? Apple fritters? Bear claws?
*Cassondra hesitates* What the heck is the point of making a pastry with toes, anyway?
Cassondra: OMG! Look at that red blob on the left! What the heck is THAT?
Jeanne: That’s a star-shaped Christmas donut.
Cassondra: Is it alive? OMG! Buddies, run! Run for your lives!
Jeanne: *facepalms* Okay, in honor of the 12 days of Bandita Christmas, we’re giving away goodies! I’m giving away a Washington, DC, Starbucks mug and a $10 Starbucks card so you can have coffee with your Christmas Donuts.
Cassondra: And on top of that, I have a HUGE box of books. I’m going to do a grab bag. I’ll reach in and grab two random novels plus one piece of fun swag from my leftover box of conference swag, and I’ll ship it all to you if you’re in the continental US.
Tell us, Bandits and Buddies…how do you like your donuts?