 Pies, pies, pies Posted by Susan Sey Nov 18 2012, 12:21 am I had a brilliant idea a few weeks back. Like most brilliant ideas, it seemed incredibly reasonable & imminently do-able. As time was short & I was on the spot, I went ahead and committed to it. Good lord, I committed to it. And I am now hip-deep in pie. Let me explain.
Okay, so way back in the spring my church did this thing called a harvest of talents. (It stems from a parable about risk and growth but, again, too much. I’ll sum up.) Bottom line? The church handed out $10 bills to each congregant & said, “Come November, we’ll be asking for these back. In the meantime, see about making them grow.” And we did what people ordinarily do in these situations. We took the money & promptly forgot about it.
Oh we knew we were supposed to do something with our family’s cumulative forty bucks. Make something, build something, create something that we could then sell at the Harvest of Talents festival our church would throw in November. We just…you know….didn’t do it.
Then, about 24 hours before the Harvest of Talents Festival we said, “Oh crap.” Because we still had our forty bucks but we hadn’t done anything worthy with it. We were Bad Church Goers.
This is when I hatched my Brilliant Idea. “Okay,” I said. ”Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to bake a couple pies and give away samples. If people like it, they can sign up to have me bake & deliver a holiday pie for the low, low price of just $10.”
This–I realize now–was the fault in my logic. Whereas my three sisters & I have been peeling apples & rolling out pie crusts under my mother’s eagle eye since we could be trusted with a paring knife, many people have not. As a result, many people do not care to bake their own holiday pies. And if somebody undercuts Baker’s Square’s price and offers to bring the pie to their doorstep the day before the holiday, these non-bakers will jump all over that action.
However. A dozen pies is still a dozen pies. And in addition to my pie commitment, I am also hosting a Harry Potter themed birthday party for my youngest on Monday night, and am producing Thanksgiving dinner for nine on Thursday. My husband is bound & determined to kick off our holiday shopping on Black Friday (pray for me), and then we’re hosting our annual Festival Of Leftovers Potluck on Saturday. My kids also have all of Thanksgiving week off school. Did I mention that? They do. Oh that poor girl, you’re thinking to yourselves. I feel just terrible for her! How is she going to survive?
Then I remembered the Holiday Wisdom, imparted in humid, fragrant kitchens, mother to daughter, for countless generations in my family: Holiday Wisdom, part one: When the holiday baking begins–no matter what time of the day or night–you open a bottle of wine. This is a sacred tradition that I have no interest in flouting. There will be wine. Oh yes, there will. Holiday Wisdom, part two (perhaps related to part one): Watch the birth control. It’s a sketchy time of year. I believe I mentioned that I’m one of four girls? It might also interest you to know that of the four girls, three were born roughly 9 months from Thanksgiving/Christmas. Listen to the Holiday Wisdom, ladies. So there you have it. I’m baking twelve extra pies this week, plus twelve to fourteen more just before Christmas, in addition to producing birthday parties, potlucks and the holidays themselves with all their attendant baking, cooking & shopping. But there will be wine. And there will be well-protected nookie, so I think I’m going to make it after all. How about you? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever committed to in the name of holiday cheer? Or in the name of charity? How did you survive? Inquiring minds want to know! images courtesy of Free Digital Photos, mouse over image for individual attribution.
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(This is where Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride should jump in: ”No, there is too much. Let me sum up.” I wouldn’t mind a Brute Squad at my disposal, either, but we’ll get to that.)
Is he coming to visit me?
Have Fun
Helen
Hi, Helen! I believe the rascally rooster IS going to your place today! Enjoy him! If I had had him, he’d be rolling out pie dough so I’m sure he’s delighted to be with you instead.
Susan
LOL what have you done? I have never done something this bad but one year a long time ago I decided to make a couple of my friends a Christmas Cake each sure my receipe isn’t a hard one but yep the cake has to cook for at least 3 1/2 hours and I only have a small oven so really I could only make one a day and working 40 hours a week and getting all of my Christmas things done wasn’t easy but I did it that year and now about 10 years on I am still doing it and I seem to be making more every year LOL. The good thing is because of the fruit nd sherry in the cake they last for about 3 months so I have started this weekend and I have made 3 already and hopefully I will get more done next weekend and see how I am going.
Stay calm enjoy that wine and safe nookie and everyone will be thrilled with their pies
Have Fun
Helen
Holy cow, a cake that bakes for 3 & a half HOURS? You’re a saint, Helen. But I’ll admit, a cake that’s heavy on the sherry sounds right up my alley about now. I don’t supposed you’d share that recipe?
Because, yeah, I need one *more* thing to bake…
Oh my word, Susan! You are a crazy woman! Super talented and brilliant to boot, but still, certifiable
I can’t say I’ve ever committed to pie baking, mainly because I’ve never actually made pie
I have done lots of Christmas baking, and we send out a couple hundred cards a year, but at least they’re not handmade! ;p
Hang in there! Enjoy the wine, the safe nookie, and knowing you’re bringing the joy of your baking to your fellow talent sharers
May you be blessed as you do so!
Fedora, that’s so sweet, thank you!
And, wait, a couple *hundred* cards?? Whoa. That puts my pie endeavor in the shade! Tell me you don’t hand-address the envelopes. You’d have to start in July!
That’s a beautiful way to spread holiday cheer & stay in touch, though. I love getting cards.
Crazy holiday stuff…. weeellll, okay, you asked.
Last year, my brother asked his long-time girlfriend of 4 years to marry him. So, we have gained a wonderful part of her family…. well, okay, an interestingly unusual part of her family.
So, last year, we did a Secret Santa so we could all get to know each other better! Sounds great? Yep, we thought so too. I wrote out my 3 biggest things I needed:
1. Three tubes of a acrylic paint… yellow, green and brown. Doesn’t have to be expensive – cheap as dirt if you want – so long it’s acrylic paint.
2. Detailing brushes. These are very tiny, fine little brushes found in art stores. You can find them usually behind the counters but also with the other brushes near the paint area… they can be bought in 4′s and 5′s… may come to around $15 for 5. Riot Art Store is a great store to go to for a good bargain… if you do, the paint brushes are BEHIND THE COUNTER!
3. $30 Westfield Gift Voucher.
So…. I covered my bases pretty well. If they couldn’t find me one or two, they could just give me the voucher and I could buy the paints and brushes myself…. no probs, right? Wrong….
The day came and I opened my gaily wrapped parcel to find my S.S had bought the paint (yay!) but the brushes were dirt cheap and whopping big thick things. After three months, they fell apart and the bristles dropped out.
What did I get for my S.S? Well, she asked for the latest Robin Hobb book…. and I got that for her, as well as a box of dark chocolate, a beautiful bookmark and a home made book-baggie I designed and sewed up myself… and my S.S person was my brother’s new fiance. She was so chuffed, I couldn’t help myself … I told her it was me.
My niece told me that my S.S was my soon-to-be sister-in-law’s mother… um… okay. But the other presents everyone got each other were really, really strange. We asked for specific things (and they cost $30) but most of us didn’t get them…
weird.
Oh, Mozette, you do take your chances with the Secret Santa thing. One year when I was working at an outdoor education center, we did a Secret Santa deal. And everybody was getting all this awesome stuff, & my SS was giving me stuff like…lids for partially eaten cans of cat food? (I didn’t have a cat.) Strange stuff. But on the last day for the big gift? I came tromping through the woods, leading my 12 students back to our little cabin & it was all strung with the most gorgeous holiday lights. My SS had decorated my cabin for me, & it *glowed.*
Totally made up for the cat food saver.
One Christmas I committed to making cross stitch ornaments for the entire office, that was approximately 90 people at the time. Really Dianna, while you were sleeping you turned into supermom maybe???
I got it done but swore to never, ever do it again.
(Grabs Dianna by the shoulders) Snap out of it woman!
Good heavens, Dianna, I feel faint just thinking about that! I can understand the impulse–who hasn’t wanted to do something beautiful for everybody?–but, wow on the follow through! You’re amazing. Maybe you *are* supermom!
I make crocheted bookmarks for my students every year and AAACCCKK! I just realized that I haven’t started yet! It takes me an hour to make about 5 of them and I have 23 students this year.
The first year we moved into our house, I asked to have a traditional Christmas dinner and wanted to do everything myself….(Another story for another time, but we choose diff countries every year for Christmas dinner….) Well, I also had an 8-month old baby at the time. I did it with DH’s help. But, now I see the validity in everyone bringing something for Christmas dinner.
Wow, Deb, crocheted bookmarks sound beautiful! And time consuming. Hope you get through them this year with your sanity intact!
And, yes, a potluck is a wonderful thing.
At the risk of BEING committed, I learned long ago NOT to……
Wow….I bow to you oh Pie maker. Of all my baking skills, pie crust eludes me. (And please, don’t ask about the strawberry filling I tried to make once…(shakes head) don’t ask)
So are these all the same type? Or did you offer variety???? If so, I’ll put in an order for three Dutch Apple
Susan? Susan?
Ok, I’ll save you the delivery trip to KY. Mrs. Smith has already taken care of it.
Joanie, thankful for her duckling
Aw, Joanie, I’m thankful for Mama Duck, as always! And if KY were just a smidge closer to MN, I’d totally deliver you a French Apple or two! Because I use my mama’s recipe & it is one of God’s Good Gifts.
But I only offered apple, pecan & chocolate pecan, all easy-peasy. It’s just a question of time management at this point….
And wine. Always wine….
I’m so glad there will be wine because as I was reading your post all I could think of was give that girl a glass of wine!
I have over committed so many times, I can’t begin to think of an example. Mostly when I had young children and a full time job. Now I have no problem saying, I’m sorry, I just can’t do that right now.
Of course, here’s my Thanksgiving. The boys were at my house last year to they will be with their dad this year. Once we worked that out, I decided I would drive to my mom’s after work on Wed and have Thanksgiving with my family up there. Then come home on Friday morning (so basically 40hrs up in NY). Immediately, I get told by my sister that I’m making the turkey because everyone loves my turkey. Okay…no problem. Then my other sister calls and says I’m making the green beans because no one wants her green bean casserole and everyone loves my sauteed green beans with mushrooms. I’m tired already.
Good luck with all the pies. I hate making pies so better you than me!
Wow, Christie! I hope there’s a bottle of wine in your future, too! Sounds like you’re going to need one to get through all the driving & baking!
But, to be fair, sauteed green beans with mushrooms *do* sound way better than that soggy green bean casserole with cream of mushroom soup. Make your sisters do the pies. And open a bottle of wine as soon as you hit the kitchen.
My mom will have a glass waiting for me when I arrive on Wednesday night. I will drink it!
Oh, Lord, Susan,
I feel for you girl.
I used to commit to church stuff like progressive dinners and such, knowing that I would be up for 36 hours just before it, trying to get my house clean enough for company.
And things haven’t changed. If the family is coming for holidays, I get no sleep that week.
That said, I long ago quit committing to church-induced madness for anything like this. I got all hardened and after a little while, felt not a twinge of guilt about saying, “we’re committed for the holidays already, so I won’t be there/won’t be participating/won’t be making myself any crazier than I already am in order to participate in this “fun”.”
And now I not only feel no twinge of guilt, I look up to heaven and say, “Thank you, God, for not caring whether I do that stuff or not.”
I have this goal–I want to be ready for the holidays some day, and I want to enjoy them.
I’m not going to make it this year, but I’m not going to be baking 24 extra pies! Let me just say that I admire you. I have no idea how you’re going to pull all that off, but you are a far, far better woman than I.
I lift my glass to you though.
What kind of pies are you making?
Hey, Cassondra!
I feel that perhaps this is the lesson God is trying to teach me. How to say no. Or at least how to take a minute to rub two thoughts together before jumping on a Big Idea.
And, yeah, I already have Tuesday night pegged as my potential all nighter if the pies don’t go as planned. Sleep? Who needs sleep? I have wine!
As for types of pies, I’m making my mom’s French Apple, plain ol’ pecan & chocolate pecan. Nothing fancy, nothing difficult. Just delicious.
Hugs to you Susan. Just…hugs…
I knew you were going to be flooded by requests the moment you mentioned your plan. I would gladly pay more than $10 for a personally delivered homemade pie for the holidays. Fortunately, I have my daughter who makes fabulous pie crust so we do our own pies here. However should she move…well it’ll be storebought from then on.
Craziest thing for the holidays? When the dh and I married we settled in Cleveland, while my family lived in Cincinnati – basically about a four to five hour drive between the two. Every Christmas we’d drive back and forth between the two cities so we could spend Christmas with our families. I think we spent more time on the road than actually with anyone. It’s one of the reasons we moved to Columbus which is squarely in the middle between the two cities.
Hey, Donna–
I feel you on the holiday travel. I don’t do it much myself–we’re too far from family to split a holiday. When we’re with my husband’s family, we’re just THERE. When we’re with my family, we’re just THERE. But my sisters all have relatively local in-laws & the backing & forthing & “we need to eat here by 2 so we can have pie there by 6 so we can drive to auntie so & so’s for present opening….” is just madness. I think moving into the middle is the wisest course of action.
And lucky you on having an in-house pie baker! I suspect I am that girl around here, but I love pie so it doesn’t bother me even a little. Love Thanksgiving!
I my goodness. I don’t want to trade with you lol. I haven’t baked in years. I would be one of those people buying pies from you lol. I use to make this complicated cookie but even that is too much any more lol. One year I taught myself to crochet and I made 4 of them – all different and I made them twice as big as it called for. I almost made it but my sister’s was all these different squares with different patterns and I didn’t get them put together in time so I put them in a huge box and finished after Christmas lol. My mother still has hers and my sister but I found out later my father-in-laws second wife didn’t care for the color blue so I don’t think she ever used it and an uncle did use his for a while in a cabin that he owned – not sure if he still has it. I give a tree trimming party with lots of food to prepare and now I help my oldest daughter (divorced) have one too. That and the shopping and the decorating has me totally stressed (coming up with ideas drives me crazy lol). Where is that wine…
Now tree trimming! There’s one area where I completely fall down on the holidays. I’m just not artistic, & I have no flair for design or decor. Trimming the tree for me is just standing back & tossing on the tinsel. And candy canes. I do love candy canes on a tree.
But a tree trimming party sounds fun! Like outsourcing your decor. I love it! I’m totally looking into that.
Susan, you sound like a baking machine. Do you want to come to my place? I love a homemade pie! Actually I’m glad people took you up on your offer – means it was a good one!
I would deeply love to bring you a pie, Anna! Say the word & I’ll escape all this madness to deliver one.
But, long view, I’m glad I made the offer, too. My girls are big enough to help & it’s a good lesson for them. Plus, they need to learn pie crusts. Never too early to get started….
I’d lay in a few more bottles of wine, Susan. I think you’re going to need them. If I offered something like that at my church, I’d have to start baking in July!
It’s taken me a long, long time but I’ve finally learned to say no. Well, mostly learned. Every year I say I’m going to cut back on the amount of baking and candy making I do over the holidays. Every year, it seems I do more than the previous year and last year I made the mistake of taking Christmas packages of my homemade chocolates to my co-workers. This year they started dropping hints around Halloween!
Sigh…Turtles…
Which brings a dream I had last night to mind….my mother had a “bog” in front of her house…filled with rampaging turtles!! Not a whit of gooey caramel between them
Well if you didn’t make such dreamy turtles…Sorry I just drifted into a little chocolate fantasy. I’m back.
Yeah, I know what you mean. No is hard, especially when you love doing it. It’s just a question of balancing what you love to do against what you need to do. That is the trouble, & that’s what I need to work on. Sigh.
Ah! Helen, he is after the Tim Tams again! Have fun with him.
Susan, I have three words for you – ARE YOU NUTS???? Of course people want a homemade pie delivered for the holidays! How many of your customers have mothers in law??? Think of the points they will score serving YOUR homemade pie to their mothers in law as their own! Are you kidding me! You could turn this into a regular service and make a fortune.
As I work in a bakery there is no way I would volunteer to do something like this no matter how good the cause. My Mom has already started her baking for Thanksgiving. Her Japanese fruit cake, Lane cake and Mawmaw’s chocolate pie are traditions in our family. Tasty traditions!!
I guess the one thing I over-commit to is making a quilt completely by hand for a member of my family each year. I have them on a rotation system but they get to pick the pattern and the fabric and every year as Christmas draws near I wonder at my own sanity!
Oh my gosh, Louisa, are you serious? A hand made quilt every YEAR? Holy moly, I feel faint just thinking about this! That must be that best Christmas present EVER. I want to be part of your family!
What are you making this year?
Just BTW, I think Louisa has a point about the money-making potential of pie.
Well it is much better now that I just do one family member per year. Before that everyone got one every year! This year it is my niece and she asked for the Grandmother’s Fan pattern. Fortunately she wants it in her college colors (red, black and white.) so it has been a bit easier to do.
The year my nephew asked for a Chinese dragon pattern and chose silk fabric I was ready to kill him!
Red, black, and white? Those are Davidson’s colors!
I bet the Chinese dragon is gorgeous, but I can see how it would be a huge headache.
Louisa, no offense, but I’m not sure you have a lot of room for calling Smoov nuts. A handmade quilt for each family member? Holy cow! I’m sure they’re gorgeous, but I figure they must consume a lot of time.
Susan, now that I’ve stopped laughing, I can comment. It’s not nice of me to find your quandary amusing, I know, but it’s your fault because you wrote it that way.
Anyhow, you should be glad I’m not one of the 150 in your church, or there would be two more pies on your list. I never learned pie crust. No, uh-uh. Since I’ve no desire to make dessert–the best part of the meal!–a groaner, I steer clear.
The craziest thing I ever did for Christmas was plunge back into the lunacy of Toys R Us to replace Castle Grayskull as Santa’s Big Gift to the boy because those sharp little eyes might’ve spotted it when his dad, in whose closet this piece of mega-booty was concealed, _opened the door_ while the boy was sitting on the bed. (I blogged about this last Christmas).
We knew the age of Santa was coming to an end very soon, but having something under the boy’s stocking that he had seen in his dad’s closet would slam the door on it instantly. So I plunged into the traffic and the crowds.
You know, people are not exactly brimming with holiday cheer and good will in crowded stores at 3 pm on Christmas Eve.
This year, my goal is to have all shopping done no later than Dec. 23. Before midnight.
Now if I just had some pie to look forward to…
Oh dear Lord, Nancy, you went to Toys R Us as 3 pm on CHRISTMAS EVE??
You win. I’ve never done anything *that* nuts.
But that’s totally love for your boy. That’s it right there. So if I were in the neighborhood, I’d totally bring you a pie just for being an exemplary mom.
Hmm. Too bad for me you’re so far away. The dh loves apple pie!
My “craziest thing” was insisting on doing
ALL the foods for ALL the holiday meals
by myself. I know, I know, I was more than
just a wee bit off my rocker! And ending
up with 6 or 7 gifts for all the grandkids,
which had to be wrapped by their loving
grandma! I ended up being too tired to
enjoy the gatherings! Honey and the
children have finally put their collective
feet down, thank goodness not on my
neck! Honey now helps with the gift
wrapping each year of the fewer than
6 or 7 gifts. The children now take on one
or two side dishes or desserts for the meals.
and I, I get to spend more time with all
my young ones! Happy Thanksgiving!
Should have read: “…with 6 or 7 gifts for
each of the grandkids”
Pat C.
Wow, Pat, that *does* sound exhausting! I’m glad to hear your family lovingly put a stop to that so you could enjoy the holiday & your grandkids! Hope it’s a wonderfully joyful Thanksgiving for you this year!