High Drama

It’s that time of year.  

No, not for decorating the tree or making cookies.  Not for addressing cards or–in my case–feverishly trying to dig up everybody’s current address because evidently I only befriend the highly mobile.  

No, it’s time for the annual….church pageant. 

We go to a small church, so everybody who has kids involved in the pageant is pressed into service.  And I–much to my eternal regret–am no exception.  I have pleaded everything from over-scheduled-ness to a terrible singing voice to no avail.  I have been cast.

Over the years, I’ve exercised my dramatic nature to play a number of roles, everything from the Virgin Mary on down to a custodian.  My most memorable role of all, however, has to be the year I wrangled the angels.

That was my official role–Angel Wrangler.

And why did we need an Angel Wrangler, you might ask?  Because in every group, there’s That One Kid.  And that year, in our church, That One Kid was an angel.  And he needed minding.  

We discovered this the previous year when he was  a shepherd.  He took out all three wisemen and was perilously close to knocking down the lit candles before we managed to get the shepherd’s hook away from him.

As an angel wrangler I had one job:  To get the angels into the sanctuary in time to climb up on the risers for their big line.  (“Be not afraid for we bring you good news…” etc. & so on.  You know the one.)  My fellow angel wrangler & I (yes, there were two of us & we were both necessary) gathered our charges around the door to the sanctuary & waited for our cue line.

As it happens, there was a table of snacks next to the door.  That One Kid helped himself to a banana. 

“Hey,” said my fellow angel wrangler.  ”There’s no time for a snack.  Put that down.”

That One Kid looked her right in the eye & peeled the banana.  Slowly.

“Don’t you dare,” she said.  ”Put that down.”

That One Kid looked her right in the eye & helped himself to a leisurely bite.  A big one.

Then came our cue line.  It was show time & That One Kid had a massive mouthful of unchewed banana. 

“Go on,” I told the other wrangler.  ”I’ve got this.”

So she bolted for the stage, a flock of obedient angels at her heels.  That One Kid tried to follow & I grabbed him by the wings.  

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”  I put myself between him & the door.  ”Chew.  Swallow.  Then we go hark the herald whatever.”  

He glared at me.  I folded my arms & waited.  He evidently came to the conclusion–accurately–that I would be delighted to stand between him & on-stage glory until he obeyed instructions.

So he chewed approximately twice then gulped down the banana mostly whole.  It went down his throat in a visible lump, like he was a snake swallowing his prey.

“Fine,” I said.  ”Great.  Now run.”

It was the run I regret.  I shouldn’t have said that.  

Because That One Kid took off into the sanctuary at a dead sprint, his eyes on the empty riser he was supposed to be standing on.  

He evidently didn’t see the giant pillar between him & it.  

He ran into the pillar face first.  Kid went down like a sack of wet cement.  The middle Wiseman gave a startled yip but nobody else seemed to notice.  And it would have stayed that way if That One Kid had just gone down and stayed down.  But did he?  No.  

He had knocked himself a good one, but sadly it wasn’t good enough to remove him from consciousness.  Not fully, anyway.  Standing was beyond him but he did manage to drag himself to his hands & knees.  I watched, stunned, as the kid crawled up the steps to the altar, making this horrible HUUUUUUUUNGHHHHH sort of noise.  The kind of noise you make when you’d like to breathe but your lungs are still all, “Dude, what the hell?” 

Bad enough, right?  Unfortunately, the kid’s sense of direction was as compromised as his ability to take a decent breath.  He heaved himself onto the stage but instead of crawling toward his riser, he veered left.  Toward the sheep and shepherds and angels innocently admiring the baby Jesus in the manger.  With their backs toward him.  

He took them all out like a human wrecking ball.  

(“HUUUUUUUNGHHHHH.”  ”Wha…?”  Wham.  Down.  One after the other after the other.)   

I, horrified into utter paralysis, stood there watched the whole thing unfold.

Finally the kid gave up & rolled onto his back, at which point his mother hopped onto the stage & handily removed him from sight.  

Evidently, she’s used to this sort of thing.  

Well, I thought to myself, at least they’ll never ask me to help out with the pageant ever again. 

Yeah, right.

  I shall be an angel, an acrobat AND a dove in the morning.  If you’re the praying sort, you might consider sending one up for me today.  

But at least I’m not wrangling angels.

So what about you?  What’s the craziest thing that’s ever hijacked one of your holiday events?  I’m giving away an e-copy of my latest release KISS THE GIRL to one lucky commenter, so don’t be shy!  Share!  

Check back tomorrow to see if you’ve won!  And also to enjoy the bewitching Christie Kelley who takes the wheel to continue the Bandita Twelve Days of Christmas!  In fact, come back every day between now & Christmas  for your chance to win prizes, books and gifties leading up to a HUGE GRAND PRIZE of books and goodies on Christmas Day!!

All images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net, mouse over photo for attribution.

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Comments

70 thoughts on “High Drama

  1. 1
    Helen says:

    Is he coming to my place ?

    Have Fun
    Helen

  2. 2
    Helen says:

    Susa

    LOL I so love your posts they always make me laugh what a child. I have never been involved with a pagent before but I do remember when I was in grade 4 being Santa Clause in a school play and the sewing teacher made me a suit from crepe paper and you guessed it the pants tore halfway thru the play that teacher never liked me she actually told me I was playing Santa because I was the biggest girl in the class an I was looking forward to my acting debut.

    I will keep my fingers crossed for you

    Have Fun
    Helen

    Well the GR is coming to really hot weather it is around 39c today but the air con is on.

    • 2.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, Helen, your teacher did NOT say that to you! What a terrible thing to say to a little girl! I hope you were the best Santa Claus in the 4th grade, ripped pants & all. And I also hope that teacher’s learned a few manners between now & then. Or at least retired because somebody who would say something so cruel to a child doesn’t deserve to teach them. Humph.

  3. 3
    Jane says:

    Nothing weird or crazy has ever hijacked our holiday events. I guess it’s a good thing there isn’t much drama going on.

    • 3.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Hi, Jane–
      Believe me, I could’ve done without the angel drama myself. :-) But it certainly was memorable. And I have truly enjoyed telling this story over the years. When I tell it in person, I can act it out. It’s great exercise.

  4. 4
    Fedora says:

    ROFL, Susan! My! I have been blessed to avoid being cast in any productions (I have occasionally be pressed into service as an accompanist, and while my fingers may have been shaking as I played, I managed not to be the source of any disasters that I can recall ;) ) and to have avoided Angel Wrangling duties. Whew!

    And ugh, Helen–what an awful excuse for a teacher! Enjoy the GR and don’t let him make any holiday disasters happen ;)

    • 4.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, Fedora, you play the piano? That’s wonderful. It’s a skill I so admire, as I have not the faintest bit of talent in that area. I’ve always wanted to play piano & it looks like magic to me whenever somebody does.

      So of course I’ve got both my girls in piano lessons & am sort of learning vicariously. Just another perk of momhood.

  5. 5
    Cassondra says:

    OMGosh. Your posts always make me hurt myself laughing, and I so needed that this weekend.

    What a wonderful story!

    And thank you for doing the stuff I could never do because I would turn into THAT OLD LADY. You know the one. The one that always snarls and acts really ugly and has frown lines around her mouth from snarling all the time.

    Yeah. That lady. I do not want to be her.

    OMGosh, I’m just laughing so hard I can’t see to type.

    What a great post.

    And yes, prayers to you as you wrangle whatever has been assigned to you for this year’s Christmas pageant.

    • 5.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, thank you, Cassondra! Sometimes I do believe I’ve become That Old Lady myself, just from the angel wrangling. But then I remember how much I enjoy retelling my ridiculous stories & think, “Well, I guess it’s all going to feed the girls in the basement, right?”

      Everything, but everything, ends up in a book somehow. It’s how I console myself when life goes wildly off the rails.

  6. 6
    Mary Preston says:

    When my children were in Sunday School it was decided, NOT by me, that the Children’s Christmas service would be mostly done in sign language as well as speech.

    I sign because my son has a profound hearing loss.

    I could have done with an Angel on my side because they gave me 6 weeks to teach everyone. The children actually picked it up very quickly, the Sunday School teachers not so much.

    Some of the older boys were determined to turn the most innocuous signs into something crude & rude. We had our rehearsals in the church & I was waiting for God to smite them.

    On the night, with the candles lit in church & the children all smiles & in costume, it was actually incredibly moving.

    • 6.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Mary, that sounds gorgeous! Our church has a little boy who signs, & his parents taught us the signs for several songs to our pageant one year. It was incredibly beautiful to see all those children singing and signing–like poetry for your eyes. I wish we did more of that.

    • 6.2

      Mary, I’m impressed you could teach that many people so quickly. In general, I think kids master new material faster than we do.

  7. 7
    Barb says:

    I am a bit like Jane …. never had anything happen to me… you can either say life is boring or pleasantly calm lol

    • 7.1
      Susan Sey says:

      I vote for pleasantly calm, & I wish I had more of it in my life! It sounds love to be able to just escape the madness & find an oasis of pleasant calm somewhere. If I ever find one, I’ll be sure to let you all know!

  8. 8
    Lianne says:

    I’ll join Jane and Barb’s group, nothing weird or crazy has hijacked my holiday events yet!

  9. 9
    Kaelee says:

    Put me in the uneventful group as well. Thank you so much for giving me a good laugh ~ it was much needed.
    I even got a chuckle over the combination of angel, acrobat and dove. I have visions of an angel doing cartwheels then sitting on the window sill cooing.

    • 9.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Ha! I’ll admit, Kaelee, it’s not far removed from the truth! At one point I had to literally toss away my dove headgear to switch it out for my angel headgear in time to toss a handful of stars down over the crowd from a very rickety ladder. I was sort of hoping my wings really worked for a minute there. Thought I might need them!

  10. 10
    Connie Fischer says:

    Thank you so much for the great laugh this morning! That little brat deserved the smack he got and too bad it didn’t wind him enough to keep him from wrecking more havoc!

    My children are grown so I can honestly say that these awful events have, thankfully, faded from memory!

    Merry Christmas, Banditas!

    • 10.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Merry Christmas to you, too, Connie! And yes, I think somewhat longingly of the days when children were, ahem, forcibly reminded of their manners from time to time by any handy adult. Not the case these days. But I try to focus on all those sweet, obedient, dutiful angels who DIDN’T smack face-first into a pillar. Most kids are wonderful & deserve more attention. At least we should starve the attention hounds more than we do. That’s my thinking.

  11. 11
    Dianna aka Hrdwrkdmom says:

    I have never been caught in something like that during the holidays (thankfully), I was drafted to make the graduation caps and “robes” for a kindergarten graduation way back when though. I am happy to say there were no holidays to deal with as well.

    • 11.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, the kindergarten cap-and-gown thing! That totally took me by surprise a few years back when my eldest graduated from kindy. I was like, “Wait, what? Don’t we wait until 12 grade for this?” Evidently not. These days, they like to graduation them from everything. Who knew?

  12. 12
    Deb Marlowe says:

    Best. Christmast Pageant Story. Ever.

    LOL!

    All of my crazy holiday stories are family related and probably best not repeated!

    :-)

    • 12.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, Deb, I’m with you! There are so many holiday stories that I will never–but NEVER–put on the internet. Just because, complicated as family can be, I do want to remain on speaking terms with mine. :-) But I have and cherish those stories all the same. Next time I see you in person, I’m totally going to pump you for some of yours. BEcause I love the reassurance that other people’s family’s are as nutty as mine.

  13. 13
    Susan Sey says:

    Good morning, friends! Just wanted to let you know that I’m off to the pageant this morning. Yes, to perform variously as an acrobat, an angel AND a dove. I will touch base later this afternoon to let you all know how it went. :-) Thanks for stopping by & I’ll look forward to chatting in a few hours. Meantime, pray for me if you have a spare moment….

  14. 14

    OH, Susan, I’m laughing so hard at this!! Too funny!

    When my kids were in elementary and middle school we lived in Florida. They were active in the Christmas program every year and so was…my hubby! My favorite one was “Christmas comes to Dry Gulch” and hubby played the crotchety old store keeper who finds a baby on his door step. Nothing quite as dramatic as your pageant happened, but it was always fun.

    Oh…I got a present this morning at work.
    I got to catch a baby. She arrived before the doctor could get there. It always makes me smile when I get to deliver one. (I don’t even mind the paperwork.)

    • 14.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Suz, how cool! You caught a baby! That’s got to be the very best part of your job, putting those moms together with their babies for the first time. And being the first one touch that precious little body? Oh, the heart melts. Melts!

      Merry Christmas early!

      • 14.1.1
        Jeanne Adams says:

        I’m with you Susan! The heart does melt. I’m just smiling like a loon over the image of Suz catching the baby! Grins. Well done, m’dearie! And how fun that must be. Most of the time, Suz, you must just love your job!

  15. 15
    Joan Kayse says:

    Oh. My. Angels. THAT was so funny!

    Aren’t you glad you didn’t go with a secular story involving “Up on the Rooftop. click, click, click?

    :D

    Arm THAT KID with a parachute.

    I only remember ONE Christmas play from school. I was 7 years old, an angel (appropriately :D ). My mom made me a angel robe of sheets trimmed in gold Christmas tinsel and my halo of the same trim lay on top of the most massive head of Toni hair permed hair you can imagine on such a small person.

    Yes, I became THAT GIRL WITH THE HAIR….

    • 15.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, but THAT GIRL WITH THE HAIR is most definitely not in the same category as THAT ONE KID. You were charming & adorable and angelic and had large hair. This kid was wild & disobedient and unpleasant and …and well, God sort of smote him for me. :-) So there’s that. Justice doesn’t usually happen to quickly but this time it just happened to work out. Kid had one hell of a headache, I’m sure.

  16. 16
    catslady says:

    roflmao I can’t think of a thing but thanks for the laugh!!

    • 16.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, my pleasure! It’s how I get through most of the traumatic events of my life. I think about how I’ll tell the story later, & how much I’ll enjoy it. Because I most definitely did not enjoy it at the time. :-)

  17. 17
    gamistress66 says:

    LOL! No highjacking for me, particularly nothing that could begin to compare to your tale :-)

    • 17.1
      Susan Sey says:

      What could possibly compare to a human wrecking ball taking out the nativity scene? What could POSSIBLY do that?

      And if you think of something, don’t tell me because then it’ll be in my head & subconscious will find some way to make it happen. And we don’t want that. No matter how good the resulting story is.

  18. 18
    EC Spurlock says:

    Oh Susan, you have my sympathies! I never had to wrangle angels but I did have to contend with THAT KID every week in Sunday School for a year. In our case it was a girl named SaraBeth. Picture Lucy Van Pelt with red hair and you’ve got SaraBeth. A little know-it-all who just Would.Not.Shut.Up. Every week I had to come up with a way to stun her into silence so I could teach the lesson. This usually involved some piece of trivia so confusing that she had to think about it for fifteen or twenty minutes before she could come up with an appropriate retort.

    I think the only holiday issue we ever had was when my youngest was in daycare and had to sing “Feliz Navidad” for the Christmas program and could not for the life of him figure out what the words were supposed to be. He tried several permutations of what he THOUGHT they were saying (my personal favorite was “police mommy’s car”) and we finally had to settle for “Feliz La-Dee-Da” which worked pretty well and at least blended in with what the rest of the kids were singing.

    Saying a prayer that your tumbling angel-dove lands safely!

    • 18.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, dear, Lucy Van Pelt? That’s tragic & terrible! I was just commiserating with another Sunday School Teacher this morning about her Problem Child (there’s one in every class) and we decided that every so often–just as a sort of public service announcement–somebody could stand up in church & remind the congregation at large that sunday school teachers are VOLUNTEERS. The subtext being, “Teach your kid some manners or you’ll be teaching sunday school yourself next semester, folks.”

      Couldn’t hurt, right?

  19. 19
    Deb says:

    LOL, loved this post! You have got to read the children’s book THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER. In fact, you should write your own, Susan! ;) Hmmm, don’t remember any mishap, pageant-wise. I was the Angel of the Lord in one church play. My mom made my outfit from an old sheet and cut out shiny gold stars to glue on it. I even carried a huge gold star glued onto a baton.

    About 4 years ago, I helped with the church Christmas play. One boy, about 4 or 5 was acting up and not listening, so I told him, in my teacher voice, “Sit down and listen and zip your lips, please.” He turned to me and said, “Huh, someone’s cranky today. Maybe you should go home and go back to bed.” Ha!

    • 19.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh, are you kidding? He *said* that to you? And his mother/father didn’t force an immediate apology, if not a we’re-going-home-right-now order? Yikes. What’s the world coming to, anyway?

      But, hey, I have to say, if somebody made me a star-spangled angel outfit, I’d be hard pressed not to wear it every single day, holiday or not. :-)

      • 19.1.1
        Deb says:

        The parents weren’t around. It amazed me he knew what cranky meant. I just said to him, “Hmm, maybe I will. Now be quiet.” :)

  20. 20
    Louisa says:

    Good on you, Helen! He’s back for more tea and Tim Tams, lucky Chook!

    OMG, Susan, I nearly drowned in my tea reading your post! TOO FUNNY! And yes, every event as that ONE CHILD! My youngest brother was that child when we were growing up. I still have vivid memories of the “Goat Nativity” incident.

    Younger brother was a shepherd in the Live Nativity Scene at our church. It was a big event in the community. There was a stable set up with real hay, a manger and members of our church in costume playing all of the characters. We almost lost the Angel Gabriel off the roof on a couple of windy nights, but that was nothing compared to the “Goat Incident!’

    Brother is kneeling at the manger, being very still for a five year old. There are live goats, sheep, donkeys, horses and cows and even a few sheepdogs in the cast. One of the goats decided he liked my brother’s shepherd’s headdress. He starts to nibble on it. Brother shoves him away. Goat returns with company. Two goats chewing on his headdress now. Mom is an angel behind Mary and Joseph. She gives brother “THE LOOK.” Brother shoves goats away. They return. Brother has had enough. He clocks the goats in the head with his shepherd’s crook. Twice. Goats bleat pitifully. And go for his robe. This is war. He proceeds to knock goats in the head again. This time he accidentally swats one of the donkeys in the butt. Donkey kicks and takes out two adult shepherds. Cow starts to moo. LOUDLY. Goat delivers a headbutt to my brothers stomach. Brother goes down swinging. Goats take off. Dogs go after them and somehow Joseph ended up with a black eye.

    Best. Christmas. Ever. And we never let my brother forget it.

    • 20.1
    • 20.2
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh dear god. Louisa! You win! That’s the best story ever! I am literally crying with laughter & my husband behind me thinks I’m nuts. Or he did. Then I read him your story & now he’s crying with laughter.

      Good times.

      But it doesn’t surprise me. Goats will eat ANYTHING, including most of my raincoat. True story but I’ll save it for another time.

    • 20.3
      Jeanne Adams says:

      SNORK!!! OMGosh, Louisa, that’s FABULOUS. I just did the same thing Susan did and read it aloud to my hubby. Of course, I read the THAT KID bit to him too, and made him laugh. He thought the wet cement line was hysterical. Snork!!!

    • 20.4

      Louisa, what Joan said! OMG, what a service that must’ve been! I bet no one in your church will ever forget it.

      • 20.4.1
        Kaelee says:

        Thank you ~ That’s is hilarious. I know goats first hand., My niece had two of them. Crafty things would get on the pony’s back to get over the fence, when they weren’t trying to eat their way out.

    • 20.5

      Oh my God, Louisa!!! You need to set that in a short novella for Christmas and sell it to the Hallmark Channel!!! TOOO FUNNY!!

  21. 21

    Susan – I laughed and laugher when I read your post – and Louisa – did the same with yours.

    Growing up, our church – a very big one – took their Christmas program very seriously. There was no room for children, no unanticipated surprises, nothing that wasn’t perfectly timed and orchestrated – in a word…boring. I would have much preferred your pagent.

    • 21.1
      Susan Sey says:

      You’re absolutely welcome to swing by, Donna! But don’t stop too long or you’ll find yourself wearing a dove hat & cooing your lines. Any adult to lingers for more than a bare moment at rehearsals finds themselves with lines.

      But I bet you’d be awesome. You have presence! Maybe you should swing by….

  22. 22
    Kim says:

    Nothing has ever really interfered with Christmas. One year we had a blizzard, but still no interruption.

    • 22.1
      Susan Sey says:

      I sort of hoped we’d have the ice storm that was predicted for last night just to give me another week to work on my lines. How selfish is that? I would rather have a ice storm than flub my lines? Sheesh.

      As it turns out, we only got rain, & I managed my lines fine so all’s well that ends well. But I guess I’m not to old to pray for divine intervention when I feel like I need a pass on something unpleasant. Some things you just never outgrow, I guess.

  23. 23
    Shadow says:

    Oh my! lol I love your post! I really needed that laugh! Thank you! hehe I cant say that i have ever had anything happen. We’ve had some interesting holidays but nothing quite like this. lol Thanks for sharing!!

    • 23.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Hey, I figure if I had to live through it, the least I could do was offer myself up as a cautionary tale. Consider yourselves warned: If anybody expresses the need for an angel wrangler, don’t ask questions. Just run. And not into that pillar right there if you can help it. :-)

  24. 24

    Susan, between pies and pageants, you’re having a time of it this Advent season, aren’t you? But oh, what a funny story!

    I tend not to be involved in holiday events, so I have none to be hijacked. Marching down the street behind the Budweiser Clydesdales in the Thanksgiving parade–an experience that taught me the sideways leap of the person two steps ahead was my only warning to take such a leap myself–is the closest thing I have.

    There’s a wonderful play about Christmas pageants, but I can’t remember the name of it–The Best Christmas Pageant Ever? Something like that. It has comic mishaps associated with a performance.

  25. 25
    Jeanne Adams says:

    Susan, I can say that nothing’s even come close to either your tale or Louisa’s. Hahah! I’m still snorking about the pillar and the donkey. Grins.

    The ony thing I can remember derailing a holiday event was the Year the Roof Leaked at my middle school. Due to a snow event and two snow days, the Chorus concert and the Orchestra concert had to be rescheduled to the same night.

    It was pouring rain, which was supposed to turn to ice and more snow at some point in the evening and the parents were all disgruntled about going in the first place, on a cold December night. Now, as a parent, I don’t blame them a bit!

    I was in both chorus and orchestra. Many of the kids were. We had to get into chior robes and onto the risers while those who were NOT doubling up went ahead and set up behind the risers to wait for the Orchestra bit, holding instruments for those of us in chior.

    Of course, that took FAR longer than it should have – we needed some Angel Wranglers!! – so you can imagine the restlessness of younger siblings, and tired, irritated and weather-worried parents in the audience.

    We finally got the show on the road and all was going well. The chior was in the middle of Sleigh RIde – second to the last number – when one of the soprano’s winced and looked upward.

    Soon, several were looking surprised and glancing toward the ceiling. then, the tenors started it too. We could hear the scraping of chairs and the startled gasps from the orchestra kids, which meant that the miniscule bass section and the poor altos down front were all craning their necks trying to figure out what was going on.

    The chior director was getting quite animated trying to keep us ALL focused on getting the one-horse-open-sleigh all the way to the end of the ride. We were all trying to figure out why we were getting wet.

    Finally the song was over, applause, applause! The director turns back to begin the next song when the sopranos defected en masse, jumping off the risers, squealing, right into the first string section who were already decamping to the sides of the stage, stumbling over chairs on the way.

    Chaos ensued as the drips became a steady stream of water pouring onto the stage from above. Kettle drums were rattled, bass fiddles were dragged, and many a kid took a tumble, and a slip-n-slide.

    Snork!! Evidently the freeze-thaw-freeze had damaged the roof, culminating in a very, very wet chior and a very short concert.

    Frankly, I think the parents prayed that hole into the ceiling to avoid the terrible orchestra concert. Snork!! Face it, an middle school orchestra is really NOT a pretty thing. Hahaha! Either that or they wanted to get home to the eggnog.

    No match for That One Kid or the donkey, but funny now, in retrospect. Ha!

    • 25.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh I’ll cherish the image of the sopranos decamping into the string section for a long time, Jeanne. Thank you. :-)

      That’s definitely right up there with the donkey & the pillar. You’re in the finals, no question.

  26. 26
    chey says:

    Nothing crazy has ever highjacked my Christmas.

  27. 27
    Maureen says:

    Your story reminds me of the year my daughter was an angel in the Christmas play at church and decided she was leaving so she takes off running down the aisle and one of the teachers is running after her and makes a diving catch of her before she got to the doors.

    • 27.1
      Joan Kayse says:

      Hey Maureen!

      Did you see you won the prize from Friday???

      Send me your info!

    • 27.2
      Susan Sey says:

      See now I have the opposite problem. One year, my daughter decided she wanted to be in the play (too young, of course.) So when I looked away (less than a minute!) she took off for the stage. Almost made it, too. Quick thinking parents in the front row saved my bacon.

  28. 28
    Pat Cochran says:

    I have 27 years of working with children
    and young people on my life’s “resume.”
    I never had any adverse experiences
    with children, but teenage band stu-
    dents were something else! Not any-
    thing bad, just high spirits and a case
    of “polite defiance.” It was an expe-
    rience I’ll remember and for which I will
    always be thankful!

    Pat C.

    • 28.1
      Susan Sey says:

      Oh dear. Polite defiance. That sounds very…difficult. I’m sorry. Plus teenaged band students? Whoa. I was a teenaged band student once upon a time. You have my sympathies! But I’ll bet you have some good stories.

  29. 29
    Mozette says:

    Not exactly Christmas… but I worked in a theatre backstage once at the Butterbox Theatre here in Logan. We did Hotel Sorrento and it went for 3 nights.

    The first night was absolutely textbook! Couldn’t have gone better. The director was pleased as punch, we all ate ourselves stupid with pizza until 2am and it got wild reviews… Brilliant.

    it was the second night that was stink-city!

    When we arrived, we found the sound tape half-way through, most of the filters off the lights and on the floor, the washing up hadn’t been done (and yet I had done it the night before) and all the intercom devices we had to use to communicate were screwed up really badly… all the wiring was stuffed up and not nice, lose and easy to manipulate. And when you walked around the backstage area with it all attached to the wall, the kinks in the wire which was attached to the wall would catch and grab at the long fabric wings and pull them back… showing the next actor for the next scene.
    If that didn’t get on people’s nerves, well, somebody numbskull flushed the toilet out the back (which could be heard loud and clear by the audience), 4 fishing rods fell down and made a loud noise that could be heard from the sound room and from front of house and – to really make the night complete – a train traveled by behind the theatre full of pigs and livestock. And as if on cue, the pigs all squeeled at the same time! They did this in a very sombre and serious time in the play… the audience sat there trying to contain itself and the people on stage were trying not to kill each other because most of them blamed me for everything going wrong (as it all had to run smoothly as it was my job to make sure everyone had the right props, entered from the correct wings and said the right first lines)…
    That night, the director told the players that it wasn’t my fault the train had pigs squeeling in it, that the toilet flushed or the fishing rods fells down… and nothing else was my fault either; and to stop blaming backstage crew and to get their sense of humour up and working.

    Then, he picked up the next set of 3 plays and asked me to be Stage Director’s Assistant….

    Now, that was one step up from being backstage crew. :D

  30. 30

    Just want to say I’m laughing so hard I’m crying! Best of luck, Smoov. Peace be with you! And I mean that.

    • 30.1
      Susan Sey says:

      I appreciate that, Christina! I do! And as I’m now home safe & sound, having dispatched my acrobatic/angelic/avian duties, I’m prepared to laugh at myself. But it was tense for a while there. I was trying to memorize my lines on the way to church this morning.

      But, hey, nobody got hurt, we didn’t set anything on fire, & my youngest brought the house down with her rendition of King Herod, so all in all, I’m calling it a win.