Things At Which I Suck

Posted by Susan Sey Dec 31 2009, 5:32 am in Uncategorized

by Susan Sey

Brace yourselves. This could be a long list.

Oh, fine. It’s New Year’s Eve. You probably have somewhere fabulous to be. I’ll give you the abridged version. I need to be snoozing on the couch by 9 p.m. anyway.

Top Three Things At Which I Am Not Very Good:

1. Sales.
2. Synopses
3. Salads

(Sidenote: I never realized all the stuff I’m bad at started with an S. Huh. At least my awfulness is alliterative

I’ll take them in reverse order

Salads: Yeah, it’s embarassing but I can’t made a salad. I think it’s because I used to be a vegetarian. (FYI for all those steakhouses out there? You can take a pile of wilted iceberg lettuce, drown it in ranch dressing and call it dinner, but that doesn’t make it so.) I suffered through enough of those iceberg disasters to have developed a knee-jerk aversion to the very concept of salad-as-dinner, & sadly cannot to this day make a proper salad. My heart just isn’t in it. So if you ever invite me to a potluck, please understand. I’m not bringing salad, & if you force me into it, you’ll be disappointed. Sorry.

Synopses: I can’t write short to save my life. My hat is off to all you category writers out there because you ladies know how to tell a tight story. It’s like poetry, where every word is perfectly chosen & pulls its weight. This is a skill I dearly wish I had but even my emails run into the hundreds of words. My grocery lists span two pages because I editorialize. (“Yellow onions. Sweet if you can find them. Not the white ones. Too strong! Not purple–funny color…”) It’s just that–okay, I’m cutting myself off because at this point, I’m only demonstrating the problem

Sales: My dad is a sales guy. He can talk to anybody. He can sell anything. He loves this work & he’s wonderful at it. Apparently this isn’t a hereditary talent because I get hives when I have to call the babysitter. (In case you were wondering, she’s a thirteen year old girl, and I want to give her money. How hard could it be? But it’s still calling up somebody who might have to tell me no, however kindly. It’s torturous and I hate it.)

So here’s my problem: I have a book coming out this summer. It’s my first one & I’m deliriously happy about it. Or I would be if I didn’t have to sell the damn thing.

Self-promotion. Another S word at which I suck.

There’ s a lot of pressure on debut authors these days. In addition to writing a great book, you also have to have a great website. It should have fresh content all the time & offer lots of extra ways for readers to connect with you & your characters.

You should blog. A lot. Everywhere. You should be witty and warm and find ways to gently promote your work without coming off as a user who only dropped in to plug her book

You should do book signings and hold launch parties–things that involve walking into book stores, asking to speak (gulp) with the manager (who you don’t know from adam,) and convincing him/her that you have enough friends & family to justify ordering a few copies of your book.

You will be required to print up bookmarks, postcards and a slew of adorable, charming, book-inspired tchotchkes (I’m drawing a complete blank on that one, by the way). They’ll need to be distributed to any breathing person you might encounter for at least six months prior to your release date.

You’ll need to make up a press packet, then call up a bunch of print journalists (gulp), radio announcers (gulp), and TV journalists (GULP) to see if they want to interview you. This is a) calling strangers and b) asking them to participate in your discomfort. The classic double whammy. Ouch.

Oh, & you’ll definitely want to purchase some incredibly expensive ad space in each of half a dozen magazines.

And if you don’t do even one of these things?

YOUR BOOK WILL FAIL, AND YOU WILL NEVER SELL ANOTHER THING AS LONG AS YOU LIVE. NOT UNDER THAT NAME, ANYWAY.

{pant, pant}

Okay, so maybe it’s not that bad. Is it? Oh, lord, I feel a panic attack coming on. Is that a hive? Right there? On my neck? Oh god. I feel faint. Somebody hold me.

Clearly, I need help here. Besides writing a darn good book, what do you like to see an author do? Is it the blogging? The signings? The website? The ads? Is it accessibility? Is it a sparkling personality? And what turns you OFF? Is there anything an author could do (or fail to do) that would make you turn up your nose and toss their book (no matter how good) into the garbage disposal?

p.s. Oh crap. I forgot to mention my title, my release date or my publisher. Sheesh. I told you I was bad at this. Okay, take two. Ready?

Look for Money Honey by Susan Sey in July of 2010 from Berkley Sensation!

Whew. How’d I do?

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The Shepherds Returned to Their Flocks

Posted by Jo Robertson Dec 30 2009, 5:01 am in Jo Robertson, New Year

by Jo Robertson I’m not particularly religious, but I’ve spent a number of years studying various religions and the King James Bible as literature. Luke records the miracle of the birth of the Baby and includes the account of the shepherds. You know the story – the long trek to Bethlehem to be taxed, the no-room-in-the-inn scenario, the cave and the manger, the angels and the shepherds. Because angels with wings and holy seraphim seem more metaphoric than literal to me, I always found what those shepherds did after visiting the manger more interesting than their actually getting there. Ah,
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The Timeless Sandy Blair

Posted by Suzanne Ferrell Dec 29 2009, 6:20 am in a Highlander For Christmas, Highlanders, Sandy Blair, Suz Welsh, Time Travel Romance

Suz: MAC DUFF’S SECRET is the third time travel romance you’ve written. What is it about time travel romances that you like? Sandy: The possibility-the fantasy–of time travel fascinates me and I often find myself wondering how I’d react if thrown back or forward in time. Would I-or a particular character–be intimidated by the lack of modern conveniences or become inventive in an effort to reestablish creature comforts? (I.e. try to make toilet paper.) Would I be brave enough to confront injustice or those displaying prejudices we now find appalling? If my hero knew from a modern perspective that something
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GIFTS AND AN ON-LINE BOOK

Posted by Suzanne Ferrell Dec 28 2009, 5:02 am in American Historicals, Gifts, Rocky Mountain Romance series, Suzanne Welsh

Giving presents is one of the best parts of Christmas for me. I usually start early thinking about each person I want to gift on my list of family and friends. Since my parents and sister live in Ohio, I know I need to have them finished first so I can mail their gifts off right after Thanksgiving. It‘s great fun to find unique gifts for my parents that they wouldn’t think to buy themselves. One year my husband brought home a Leatherman tool for my dad. It’s one of those ten tools in one thingys guys love. Well, Daddy
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To Be Read

Posted by Beth Andrews Dec 27 2009, 9:44 am in Beth Andrews, Books I'm reading, new authors

by Beth My To-Be-Read pile has somehow grown into a To-Be-Read hill. It’s gone from three separate piles (one romance, one nonfiction and one for non-romance fiction) to four piles (I went on a buying spree and had to make a pile for my paranormal YAs and urban fantasy books *g*) I know quite a few of you can relate to my multiplying books, or perhaps your own TBR piles are more like mountains. Either way, all I know is that at the beginning of 2009 I had a goal of reading more and keeping my TBR pile manageable. Well,
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Winter Wonderland

Posted by Nancy Northcott Dec 26 2009, 7:23 am in Boxing Day, snow, winter

by Nancy We had a gray Christmas, not a white one, with rain most of the day yesterday. Not quite the ambiance we’ve been trained to expect. As the dh said, “No one wrote a song dreaming of a wet Christmas.” And Charles Dickens didn’t write about rain in A Christmas Carol. We would’ve liked just a bit of the white stuff–a few flurries, perhaps, though the boy believes “snow when [he's] out of school is wasted snow.” I imagine those of you looking at anything from multiple inches to a couple of feet of snow may wonder if I
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Merry Christmas from the Romance Bandits!

Posted by Kate Carlisle Dec 25 2009, 5:30 am in Bandita Booty, Christmas, Kate Carlisle

by Kate ‘Tis Better to Give …Some of my favorite childhood memories are of waking up on Christmas morning and seeing the acre of presents spread out under the tree. I loved opening Christmas presents, and Santa Claus never disappointed. But now that I’m all grown up, I find it’s much more special and fun to watch others open their gifts. I love to see the looks on my friends and loved ones’ faces when they see what it is, when they look up at me with excitement and pure joy at the realization that I’ve managed to find the
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Bandita Booty!!!!

Posted by Donna MacMeans Dec 25 2009, 4:50 am in 12 days of Christmas, Donna MacMeans, Holiday Lights, prize winners

LIGHTEN THE HOLIDAYS WITH BANDITA BOOTY !! by Donna MacMeansCongratulations to:Louisa Cornell who won her choice of a book and the rooster cookie cutters and cookie mixand Silvia who wins her choice of a bookPlease contact me at http://www.donnamacmeans.com/ for contact informationand a Huge MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the Banditas and Bandita Buddies!!

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Christmas Eve–Time to Party?

Posted by Guest Dec 24 2009, 4:55 am in Uncategorized

by KJ Howe With the holiday season upon us, our social calendars are filled with celebratory events for work, family, and friends. Hairdressers are double-booked, red lipstick flies off the shelves, and the stilettos and bling escape the back of our closets. It’s time to party! Back in the day, a party was just a party, but these days, themed parties are the way to go–the more outrageous, the better. For example, I recently attended a party where everything echoed the Academy Awards…yes, those two “Oscars” sandwiching me stood perfectly still on a stage for over two hours as people
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12 Days and Wild Ride Booty!

Posted by Nancy Northcott Dec 24 2009, 4:55 am in 12 Bandita Days of Christmas, Bandit Booty, karen kendall

We have a winner for Karen Kendall’s Take Me For a Ride. Because that post appeared during our 12 Bandita Days of Christmas, the winner also receives the special holiday rooster booty. And the winner is . . . Pam P! Pam, please send your contact info to Nancy via the link at the top of the blog, with “for Nancy and Karen” in the subject line. Congratulations, Pam, and thank you to everyone else for stopping by. We hope you all have a fabulous holiday season!

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